Humour me..this men's day!

Me (To the boys in the whatsapp group): 

Happy International Men's day to you guys.. You guys are few of the most amazing men I know!!

Maloo:

 Huh! Aaj toh world sanitation day hai na! 

Debo: 

Ek hi baat hai! 

ROFLMAO!!

***

Jee haan, Aisa bhi hota hai! :D

Emptiness - 2

Picture Courtesy - Diba Raza

coffee table talks,

pick up lines in trend,

engaging discussions on life

sometimes, jokes on friends of friends!

laughter, joy - immeasurable

spills of drinks on the tray

brownie indulgence, unforgivable

knitting stories day after day

i pass by these coffeehouses

those empty tables stare

a silent laughter echoes, 

pricks a pretty memory somewhere

one day, after wrapping up the chores

and punching in swipe cards

we'll meet in leisure and talk

how life's been kind and hard

time please! from the game

I wonder, when again shall we meet?

these lonely tables, at coffee shop

meanwhile befriend the street!

***

PS: For the paglees in my life! <3

Repartee

Again deviating from routine, here's a very interesting counter strike to the poem in the previous post, by the one and only Maloo ;)

She strikes once in a blue moon, but when she does, it's giggles and smiles all the way! :D

Without much ado, let me post here her composition..

***

Itna accha likhkar

Kehte ho situational composition,

Kalam tumhari chalti rahi

Bina kissi preassure ke aur naahi koi tension.

Bill hi bharwana tha

Toh leleti card number,

Kya zaroorat thi usse dene ki

Aapne winter, rains and summer.

Akele hi gunguna leti

Kuch lafz kuch jazbaat,

Ab teri hi hogayi hai

Dono shey aur maat.

Tasveer khudhi ki dekhti

Naa deti aaina chupa,

Kyun aur ek ko tune

Aapne pyaar mein liya fasa..!

- © Maloo

Pun Intended

I have this group of friends who are added on whatsapp and we discuss potential weekend travel plans. 

V : Speculative Program .. How about a small trip to Dahanu on the weekend of April 5th-6th?
     Dahanu is 180 Kms from Mumbai.

Me: I have to see the distance from Bangalore.

V: Incase planning fails, I may be coming to Pune the same weekend.

Me: Then you all can go to Dahanu-kar colony.. :D :D 

(You have to have lived in Pune, to get the joke ;))

***

Everyone knows who Evelyn is. She is my adorable little neice, Jincy's daughter who's 1.5 years old.

So we get this status update from Jincy the other day.

Jincy: Evelyn learned 'tomato' yesterday so today she recalled it and pointed at a banana and said 'tooamaatoo'

I said, no.. Banana! and then I showed her the tomato.. She nodded.  After a while she says "Banatoo"

Rest of us: ROFL!


***

FRIENDS series can be really liberating at times. Especially when  you say something about it and the other person instantly gets the joke and vice versa. The FRIENDS fan club is a unique group of people who can get the moment going by uttering anything insane and yet making complete sense out of it.

So, at 1 am, past midnight, me and D were having some conversation ranging from books to television, where we came and stuck on FRIENDS for a moment. She narrated the relation of number 'seven' that she'd heard somewhere to one of the most amazing scenes of FRIENDS. She simply said it thrice. Seven, Seven, Seven.. and I understood what she was talking about. I immediately logged on to Youtube and re-visited that scene!

That's the beauty! If anyone of you get it, then I'd say, thumbs up, and those who couldn't co-relate...well.... "how you doing?" ;)


***

I have always been a lyrical mess. I find it really hard to remember lyrics, more so the tempo of the song too. So, the other day, after trying to recollect the main leads of the song "Tune jo na kaha main wo sunta raha", I began singing this song. To say the least, I was indeed in that mood. You know, contemplative kinds! So i sang that song.. Like this..

tune jo na kaha, main wo sunta raha,
khamakha, bewajah, khwaab bunta raha
Jaane kiski hume lag gai hai nazar
Iss shehar me na apna thikana raha
duur jakar bhi main paas aata raha
khamkha bewajah khwaab bunta raha..

(OK, i know these are not the correct lyrics, but in my mind, they fit perfectly and they give me the requiste feel!)

After this.. I continued singing the para

Log kehte hai pagal, hu ye main bhi na jaanu.
Dil lutaya hai maine
ab kisi ki na maanu
chain dekar ke maine
bechainiya ye li hai
neende uda ke main
tumse wafaye ki hai

----confused!---

Yeah, that's when I realised, I'd messed it up. The contemplative mood went to the dogs, and laughed my ass out, for singing the entire thing in feel, as if, you know, I was the one suffering indeed and singing my heart's state out. But mixing up the para of one song with chorus of the other? I banged my head on an imaginary wall! Thrice~

Damn, I thought, even words betray me ;)

***

Jee haa..Aisa bhi hota Hai! ;)

PS: Wishing everyone a great All Fool's Day. Foolishness is the real way of finding nirvana! ;) Trust me!

Maakhan Chor!

Mom was in the kitchen,
aur main ho rahi thi bore
I thought I'd do a little jig
and play the Maakhan Chor

Par Maakhan se bhi tastier
tha wo dahi ka bowl
I picked it up and slid away
and pretended to take a stroll

Fir chupke se living room me
I found a place and took a seat
put the bowl in my lap
and slurrrp... I began to eat

Par main Chhoti hu na, 
so my mommy always feeds
but now I couldn't reveal to her
my super secretive deed.

So I tried to put the spoon
straight into my mouth
but it hit my chin, my nose, my cheek
thoda sa dukha...ouch!

I licked and licked and licked and licked
Sigh, it was so much fun.
My shirt, and my face were already dirty
and I had just begun.

Then she came stomping her feet
I thought I do another trick
I made my sweet little innocent face
and that's when she clicked

Darr ke, I held the bowl close
as she stared for some time more
Fir aake she sat near me
and then we both played Maakhan Chor!

Light it up!

Here are a few anecdotes I gathered over the past few days :P 
I had a great ending to 2012, with Maloo sending me Christmas Gifts <3 She's my Santa :D

***

E: Hi, I am Ehsaan

Me: Oh! Don’t tell me your last name is Faramosh.

E: Huh?

Me: People have been mistaking me for you, all this while. Now I can tell them it’s you!

E: Ehsaan Faramosh?

Me: (Nods wryly)

E: *&%^($)

***

Maloo: Mere nephew ka naam “La” “Lo” se rakhna hai

Me:      Oh, that’s a difficult letter. Kuch Socha?

Maloo: His surname is Krishna, so as of now everyone has named him “Lord” and he is being called “Lord Krishna” at the moment!

Me: LOL

Maloo: Ya, LOL can be a name too! And if he has a sibling, we can name him/her  ROFL

Me: ROFLMAO

Maloo: Or how about Lokpal Bill. It’s the most happening things these days!

Me: Yeah Right :P

Maloo: I loved the name Vihaan. Par “La” se rakhna hai to, I will suggest “LaVihaan” usme “La” silent :P

Me: Perfect! :D

And the name list went on and I had the “La”ugh of my “la”ife! :D :D

***

Maloo: See my new keyboard

Me: Mast, iske pehle kaisa tha

 Maloo: Alag tha

Me: Which is better then?

Maloo: Thus ta ta thus ta that ha tha thus thus ta.

                Oh No!

Me: ROFLMAO to the power infinity!

Maloo: No memory in the dictionary!

Me :K

---

Maloo: I got my old keyboard back.

***

My canteen is the best canteen ever. Why if you may ask, I'd say the chefs keep innovating everyday. The menu list is so interesting that I wonder I needn't travel to places to eat good stuff. It's just present right there in my office canteen.

Check out what I had the other day!

Ever heard of that? - American CHAPESI ? :P

***

Another friend forwarded me this excellent place someone went to have snacks. I am sure no one would have dared to have anything here..

Interested? The address is right there.. see?

***

Because these days conversations are mostly over chat and Whatsapp, this is how I end my conversation when I see no chance of winning it..

That's right... Tu Raendey..

2013 me, yaaron.. Aisa Bhi Hota hai... :D

Wishing you a great year ahead! :)

Letter to Evelyn

My Dearest,

Aunt is sorry for being so late
She was busy dealing with her fate
Things were dicey and boring too
So she couldn't write anything to you

But you turned 1 on a fine August day
I know it's pretty late to say
But still I'd wish you all the joy and fun
you'll see what a lovely thing it is to be ONE

And mommy told me how fast you grow
Every day one new thing you show
By catching up the words so quick
And displaying some naughty cute old tricks

I heard you've started walking
dancing, hopping and talking
You speak a lot, just words don't seem right
Don't worry girl, they'll soon be easy and bright

And then perhaps, you can talk to me
and we'll discuss little plans, you see
of going to a funfare and park
and those two friends of yours, you may ask

But do you eat well, or have some whims?
Do you trouble mommy and then give that grin?
You should eat really well, and become strong
and then when I go skiing, you can tag along

Thanks for the message the other day (aqwwwaw11!1)
I had no clue what you wanted to say
But still I thought I'd reply to you
So that you have no complaints that I didn't do.

I'll see you soon baby, sometime in Jan
I'll get you as many pretty dolls as I can
and then we'll play, and also go to the zoo
You should know darling, I so miss you!

Love,
Aunt Mini :)

Those times when..

It's been a long time when I had "those times" when I derived philosophies out of a simple situation.

But lessons or no lessons, I always exclaim "Aisa Bhi Hota hai???"

I was super hungry and I went to my office canteen for some snacks and tea. The canteen fellow has been innovating every day, so the other day the menu was this:

I wondered whether I should have ALU BODA or CYAPSIGAM BAJJI. Well, it's Bangalore and people like to innovate at this level "specaelly". It took me a while to understand that the menu had Capsicum Bhajiyas and while someone enlightened me on that fact, I laughed hard, so hard, that I lost my hunger and interest both and simply planned to blog about this by making stories. But here, I didn't make any. I just put the incident as it was. Honestly! :D

***

On another day, during office hours we sneaked out to buy a scratch guard for my friend's phone. It was apparently "Made in Chian" - the pic is not super clear though!

I laughed out loud yet again at the idiosyncracies of life and foolishness of human beings! this
The entire day I kept humming this song --> Oh mere Dil ke Chian... Chian aaye mere dil ko dua kijiye :D

***

Whatsapp is a great application. It helps me stay connected with a few of my folks who make me super happy all the time. From the school gang, to ex-roomies and my first-job group of friends - the CB2. We all are a crazy lot. I don't know how much value this app adds to their life, but for me, Whatsapp is so far one of the best thing that has happened to me. Talk about being virtually addicted! I think one can't do much when distances play a vital role.

***

I have not been super regular at blogging and  I regret it. My laptop is becoming lazier than me. It misbehaves at times, and I spank it out of sheer frustration . It has stopped responding properly. Therefore, blogging is a pain, more than a pleasure now. I wish I had other sources too - say a tab, or internet connection at work!

I wish somebody could grab a tab for me in the thanksgiving sale this year.. I'll Pay.. Ahm.. is anyone listening? :P

***

Maloo, my ex-roommate is now a great artist. Here are some of her priceless creations. I am planning to auction them after I become the most famous lady in the world :D

Copyright : Maloo

Copyright : Maloo

***

After a lot of efforts I finally have the telugu version of Makkhi (Eega) with me now. I was so curious to know what is it about. It is being talked about all over in Bangalore. I thought I better give it a shot. Will come back with a review soon!

***

Bangalore is getting better day by day. The weather is returning to the ancient Bangalore mode, and it is nice and cloudy and cool all the time. I love this weather!

***

Right now I am reading "The Saint the surfer and the CEO - Robin Sharma". Poor writing, but great great content. Please pick up this book ! :)

***

Can't wait to start with "The American Gods - Neil Gaiman". I just kept it for my train journey. I will be travelling in the train after a very long time. I am sooo excited!

***

 Ignore the title of the post. There is actually no link :D

Reading Spree

When your best friend is sitting in the other part of the globe, sipping Americano with hot Chinese girls, what do you do? You make new friends. Well, I've always had a backup-best-friend, in case the first one went, you know, astray :P

Ok, I am talking about books. I have read, like, 5-6 books in 2 months and I couldn't have felt any better! I started off with Palace of Illusions which is based on Draupadi's life, and it is her story told in first person. I loved the way Mahabharata was explained vis-a-vis her perspective. I think it a strongly feminist book with a deep insight into the actual war and relationship of Panchali with the Pandavas. At times you happen to sympathise with the narrator and feel how weird the customs and principles were back then. But everything happened for a reason, and we now know it as the great Epic of Mahabharata.

The next book was "Eat Pray Love". I wouldn't say, it was a great great writing or a fantastic book which inspired me, but I'd say it was one the books which I lived as I read it. I travelled to all the places the writer took me along with her and I was ecstatic about her experiences. I've always loved autobiographies, especially of people who are lesser known (to me). I'd like to go back and re-read this one very soon. At more levels than one, it is ME. I loved the book. A must read for wandering souls like me, who are in search of something - could be a purpose, a lover, a master, a hobby, a profession, or any darn thing. Lovely book!

Then I grabbed an ebook called Megaliving by Robin Sharma. I was averse to any self help books, because I always thought I was the most sane person ever. But sanity goes for a toss at times, and the universe so conspires that it hands you a book that helps you rediscover yourself. That's how Megaliving happened and I loved it immensely. It's one of those books which promises you a better life if you are willing to put in efforts. I did, and it turned out great for me! Please get a copy of this one. You may not need it now, but this is something which you may need any moment.

Inspired by Robin Sharma, I was in the flow of philosophy and pyschology, so I re-read this book by Anupam Kher called "The best thing about you is you". It is one of those books which tells you all that you need to know about yourself, your hidden potentials and the immense possibilities for self improvement. I had read it when I wasn't in a mood, but still did it because I'd started it. But this time when I read it, it made a lot of sense.

Then, I finally finished a long pending read "The good man Jesus and the scoundrel Christ". This is a fiction. There is nothing deeply related to Christianity, but based more on the belief that has been passed on, the way the Father is worshipped. I wouldn't comment on this book, because of religious sentiments, but when read in the correct sense, it enriches you in a lot of ways.


Then came the sexiest read of all times- 50 Shades of Grey. I have never hated any plot so much and at the same time loved the writing as much as I did in this novel. The writing is candid, effortless, slow, painfully sensuous and erotic. But the plot is a little weird, because we, as Indians are not exposed to such a culture of expression. Nonetheless, anything related to weird psychological cases intrigue me. It's a trilogy, and I am not sure whether I want to pick up another book. But going forward, I'd definitely like to know the end to this tale.

While I am contemplating the idea of picking up the Part 2 of this Grey series, I am hooked on to "The Krishna Key" - by Ashwin Sanghi. This time, the writing is poor. But the plot is gripping. Anything that reveals secrets about mythology and history always excites me. So I think I will be done with this one pretty soon. A good 2 hours at the airport is enough to wrap up such a fast paced read. I'd suggest, all those who loved Chanakya Chant and Rozabal Line, should pick this one up too. Though it's not as clean as the former, it still is a good read!

It's very difficult for me to say bad things about any book. I anyway grasp something or the other from each book.

The last book that I started was "The Accidental Godman", but I couldn't finish it. It was a little draggy. I will continue with that after a roller coaster on The Krishna Key.

That's how my reading has been going on. A variety in genres and different levels of understanding.

What have y'all been upto? :)

Thesis on Smileys!

You, know, how tech savvy the world has become. We type and talk and talk and type. So, just like any other weekday, when office seemed pretty boring, we 4 room mates, ex room mates now, were yapping over a mail trail, and I happened to write something with a typical “:P” smiley.. 

Well, I wouldn’t write this incident in an indirect speech.. So here’s the actual mail trail for you to read..  and appreciate the innovation and amazing thought that we, rather maloo has put into this! 

*****

Maloo: 

I made methi thepla today morning…

Salt was a little less.. but came out well…

Garam garam it was nice… later became a little dry…

Yamini:

Thepla bole toh?

Pri:

Abhi ise sirf Dosa samjhta hai....

(I have moved to Bangalore)

Yamini:

:D :D :D

Pri:

When are u reaching Ngp?

Yamini:

:P

Mostly 2nd Morning.

Maloo:

Tu har reply mein itna hass kyun rahi hai….

Humlog kya joker dikh rahe kya yahan par….

Yamini:

Picchle reply me kaha hasi re… tounge dikhkai..hasna bolte kya use :D

(ab hasi)

Maloo:

:P tongue dikhana hota kya… tongue kahan ahi ismein..

Yamini:

Wo ‘P’ se jo latakra wo tongue nahi toh kya hai??

:P aise haste kya maloo..?? :D

Maloo:

Agar

1.       Mere daat ka operation hua and ek side se mooh sujh gaya toh

2.       Mooh ke ex side mein chaale aagye toh

3.       Mera ek side ka body paralyze hogaya toh

4.       Mere pati ne mere mooh mein tape laga diya toh

5.       Meine galti se ek side of the lips mein feviquick laga liya toh

6.       Mujhe koi pasand nahi and jabardasti usse dekhe smile karna ho toh

7.       Mujhe mera point prove karna ho toh

:P aaise haste….

Woh ek TV actress toh bina kissi reason ke by default :P aaise hi hasti hai…!!!!

Pri:

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Maloo:

M in no mood to work yaar…

Do dino se meine client kaka ko latkake rakha hai…

Kuch kaam nahi kiya…!!!!

Yamini:

Tera talent kahi aur nazar aara hai..kaam kaise hoga..

Thepla banana, alag alag type ki hasi pe research karna! :D  

Fursat mile toh thoda dave kaka pe bhi dhyan de de :S

Puntoo:

:A :B :C ………. :X :Y :Z

 Ab in sab pe phd karo!!!!!!

Pri:

Mere man ki baat likh di tune Punts!

Yamini:

Maloo karegi na research..fir patent file karnge!@ :D

Maloo:

Tum sabke mann ki kardi…

 Jo mere mann mein sabse pehle aaya.. woh likha…!!!!!

 :A            andhadhoon hassi

:B            beech mein daath tut gaya wali hassi

:C            chameli ki hassi

:D            dahadne waali hassi

:E            ek daanth waali hassi

:F            faadu hassi

:G           Gol hassi

:H            hairat ki hassi

:I             ishq ki hassi

:J             jalan ki hassi

:K            kamini hassi (yeh hassi dena bandh kar yamini… aage ka bhi padh)

:L             langoor ki hassi

:M          meherbaani hassi

:N           na hasne waali hassi

:O           oats khaane ke baad waali hassi (not at all good…)

:P            phirse samjhaaoun kya (do I need to explain this one again..!!!!)

:Q           quality hassi

:R            raah chalti hassi

:S            saap ki hassi (skand Sharma ki hassi……….)

:T            temporary hassi

:U           udhaar ki hassi

:V            vagaira waali hassi

:W          waqt ki hassi (seriously)

:X            X (single) porn waali hassi

:Y            Yorker waali hassi

:Z            zor (constipation wala zor) ki hassi

And that’s how we had a detailed list of laughters from A-Z. Now we have a reason to laugh at every little thing and on every situation! :)

Kudos Maloo.... I had no idea.. Aisa bhi hota hai! :D