The Contrast!

Look at this picture!

Picture Taken in Paris, France, near Notre Dam

What do you see?

The little girl playing merrily with the sparrows? Unmindful, fearless, happy, naive, welcoming!?

Have you done anything like this in your life?
Of course, you must have. We have been carefree, outgoing, not worrying about the repercussions of indulging in little pleasures. 

We have played with people, friends, things, animals our parents warned us against. We have climbed roofs and yelled at the top of our voices?

We have been children, enjoying life insouciantly!

What has changed now? Why do we not do this anymore? Societal rules, norms? Fear of being judged? Fear of masks falling off?

What do you think is the old man doing? Can you picture yourself in the place of the old man? 

Can you gauge his expressions? What must he be thinking? What could be his life story?

This beautiful contrast depicts two extremes of our life! What we make of it in between is all that matters!!

“If you were a bird, and lived on high,

You'd lean on the wind when the wind came by,

You'd say to the wind when it took you away:

"That's where I wanted to go today!” 

― A.A. Milne, When We Were Very Young

The Ripple Effect

Pic Courtesy : google images

There are very few things now that surprise me. Kindness, Sanity are few of the acts that make me turn to my blog and actually write a post.

This time, it is about the “lack of it”.

Do you remember the first time you sat in an airplane? Most of you reading this, would have, am sure! What did you do? Did you try to scrap off the leather seat-cover, or tear off the front pockets of your seat? Or did you use your keys or hairpin to write “abc loves xyz” message on the seat handles.

Did you go to the washroom, to write profane messages? Did you draw diagrams of your body parts, or parts you lust?

I know you did not! So, Awesome!

But would you be disgusted by someone who did all of this? You would sigh in your very educated tone “Petty Indians”! Wouldn’t you?

Well, yes! We all would. We as a group should be ashamed of fellow Indians who wreck public properties and if you have guessed it already, this rant is about Tejas express, that the Government enabled for the citizens and we bungled it!

Don’t you say, it wasn’t you! Of course it was one of you. All of you! All of US. You, me, everyone! Educated or not. Literate or not. Wise or not!

Let me tell you the difference between the words I just used.

1.       If you can read and write – you are a literate. That’s about it.

2.       If you have been to a school and “learnt” subjects, how things work, history, math, geography, science, art, languages – you are educated.

3.       If you have used your education towards the betterment of your own existence and that of the society – you are wise.

Please feel free to classify yourself as either of the above.

I doubt how many of us can dare call ourselves “wise”.

You know, let me just talk about how I can make sure, I do not go about damaging a Tejas, henceforth. I need to correct my actions first, to be able to bring about any change I hope to see.

I am educated. I know how taxes work. I know about hygiene and environmental sciences. I know about civic rules and co-existing in a society. I also have had moral science in my school, so I know the basic values, morals and etiquette. So I call myself educated.

How can I go from being educated to wise?

I interact with following people on a day-to-day basis.

1.       My house maid

2.       Sweeper

3.       Watchman, Guard

4.       Cook

5.       Taxi/Cab drivers.

I interact with some on a daily basis, and with some just one time, and I never see them again. With people I interact daily, I can make sure they understand the basics of everything. I can teach them about using Math and applying them in their daily transactions. This will make them wise.

With regular talks, I can tell them about current affairs, what is the right decorum of existing in a society, what it means to use public facilities? The chances are most of them already know it, but sometimes, they turn a blind eye towards significant things.

I can also guide/teach them about safety, savings, health and cleanliness.

I can let them know, by being an example, that monetary status does not define how good a citizen is. It’s all about attitude.

The same applies to cab drivers. I can always engage in friendly conversations, and talk to them about what they feel and think about so many issues surrounding us. If possible, I try and leave a thought behind that he can ponder upon and bring it into action. I shouldn’t be preachy. It is very important to let the other person know, that whatever service he is giving me is valued immensely, and same will be his attitude towards the other person from whom he is taking a certain service.

Kindness, love can go a long way.

Imagine, if your family or someone very close to you, is convicted of a crime and is undergoing an ordeal, can you eat/sleep/live peacefully? Will it not affect you until he/she is alright?

Now consider the entire humankind is your family!

How can you eat/live/sleep in peace when you know something somewhere is wrong with someone.

Do your bit.

This is not about what an intense wreck, some stupid people made on the new brand train the government introduced.

This is about getting rid of “chalta hai attitude”, “Respecting the country you live in”, and watching the ripple-effect of goodness. It is a Chain Reaction! Join in!

Go With the Flow

PC: Google Images

We all, at some point or the other, have brooded over or contemplated about our relationships. A lot has been spoken about domestic abuse. But the most important aspect of any relationship is the emotional aspect, which we often put up with, wondering or hoping that it will get better. This is most ignored and knowingly or unknowingly we become victims of emotional abuse, leading to stress, depression and other mental illnesses. This applies to the men too, who have wives or partners who constantly pull them down.

Believe me, emotional abuse is worse than anything else, gender irrespective. It works it's way inside out.

If you have been hurt over and over by a certain habit or tendency of the other person, say lies, cheating, anger, manipulative nature, or any such behavior, and you feel that you have endured enough, you must break the cycle of pain and suffering. This never means that you end the relationship, or get a divorce, or stop loving. This means, you owe yourself peace of mind, happiness and a life free of stress and anxiety, and you should give yourself all of this. There are other commitments which are already taking a toll and an abusive relationship should be the first thing you should get rid of.

A very useful advice that I came across in the form of a letter is this:

I have been thinking of writing to you on many occasions good and bad. Recently, the whole issue about xyz has been bothering me. I know and i can assume what you would say and make me believe, but for once lets talk about you.

So now, you have basically ruined almost  decade either loving, wanting to love, or waiting for love. So i think we can give this a rest. You have a new (hopefully very good and promising) life in store already. Go with the flow, don't overthink, overdo and over indulge. Stop being reckless, you have a long way to go. Love in your life will keep coming and going, and maybe it'll stay; but your life can't revolve around or stop at a totally messed up relationship.

It may not be applicable for each and every individual, because situations are different. But there is a lot to take from this piece of advice. I took it too! 

There is always an unknown that is waiting to be sought. It is very exciting and the chances for new discoveries are immense. We do not give ourselves enough credit or we do not have enough self belief to embark upon a new journey altogether. We stay stuck in the comfort zone of pain, and suffering and we cannot imagine a world which could be free of all this. Remember, you cannot get rid of people, but you can get rid of the negativity. Sometimes people too!

Find help, don't stay when you know it's time to go, don't put up with something that is making you lose your essence, your sanity, your identity. You were meant to shine, and you should, by all means! 

... Go with the flow! Don't Resist!

***

Part 2: in next week's Thoughtful Thursday : How to break the Emotional Abuse Loop!

Gumusservi

Picture Courtesy : Diba

There were two moons that night..
you and me,
Amidst many...
shining like silver reflections 
on water..

Water that poured..
when monsoons were delirious...
and you were perplexed
like always..
every single time the seasons changed...
you turned timid..

because you did not like
the idea of water puddles
that soiled your attire..
Or sun that shone too brightly, or 
winter moons that adorned the sky..

Slowly you waned off
into your space
and i realised..
I shone better without you..

...Even in reflections!


PS: Gumusservi means : Moonlight shining on water

The Religion Medicine

Imagine a cult which goes by a few rituals.. Like having ginger and honey. Or taking steam of niligiri oil.

Consider a few other cults which do not believe in ginger-honey and nilgiri at all. They'd rather believe in benadryl or vicks vaporub. Or another cult which believes in suffering and not taking any medicine.

All this for what? A simple Cough and Cold.

So, now when cough and cold is a way of life, my religion/cult asks me to take benadryl. But it is too overpowering and concentrated. It doesn't suit me. I decide to do something different. May be seek other ways of curing my cough and cold.

I see every human being is suffering from this cough and cold, some are ignorant about it and some know very well and are on the way of treating it. I am one of them.

One day, I meet someone who who tells me about having ginger and honey. I like how I feel after taking it. I realize that I am feeling lighter and I am able to breathe better. I resort to this practice because it is healing me.

Now, the person who suggested me this, did it only because he knows that it worked on him and it may be useful for me. So he asks me to resort to this practice henceforth. I agreed.

Now people who were always taking benadryl are offended and accuse this person of converting me into someone who takes ginger and honey for cough and cold. The fights begin.

The sale of ginger and honey are sky rocketing and benadryl and vicks are getting out of business. So they think of ways to convert the ginger-honey takers into benadryl takers, because according to them, only benadryl can heal and is the most apt way of dealing with cough and cold!

Similarly, somewhere in the other parts of world, there are some folks who are propagating that benadryl is not good for health, ginger-honey is, so they are emotionally blackmailing and forcing people to take up what they claim is the cure for cough and cold.

But my question is, I will take what heals me. Right? Not what heals you! So stop propagating and stop holding others guilty of converting people into different cults.

Most of the people do not even know they are suffering. And there are so many, who have risen above these petty cures of petty cults, and have sought solution to their cough and cold, by simply breathing positively and surrounding themselves with nature and fresh air. They do not need any ritual to cure. Because they have found the elixir.

So, if you are suffering, we all are, take whatever heals you! No one has the right to tell you what you should take. If your doctor doesn't suggest you the right dose, change the doctor and take the right dose.

The doctors only show us the path, recuperating is all upon how we respond to medicines. Choose wisely! Sometimes we do not even need doctors. Or Medicines.

Self Love

Self love is very important. If you can't love yourself, you can't love other people with utmost honesty. You are nothing but a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

I remember how annoyed I used to be when something I wanted badly did not happen. My anger would in turn be directed towards other people and things

If my anger reflected so truly when I was disgusted within, why wouldn't love work on the same principle?

One fine day, I decided to forgive myself and overcome all guilt I ever had. Surprisingly with more acceptance came more self love.

~ From the archives

Unpublished

He sighed as the faded ink in his notebook, diluted the feelings of the words he had once penned down. 

It read,

When we are 80, and neither of us can read anymore, I will lend you my extra special bifocal lenses to zoom in to my feelings. You would need them. You would have lost the sight, as much as I would have.

It still takes nothing for me to understand what you want. I always know it. Like I did back then. You always needed reassurances, and missives. I hated writing, and you turned me into a novelist.

Words poured like rains during monsoons. Why, you'd wonder? I wrote so that one day, while walking past that book store, you'd pick up a hardbound with my name on it. And wonder..

'Am I the protagonist? Did he write about me?'

Knowing that you'd chance upon my book and read it- Back to back... and realize, it wasn't about you. 

You'd ponder furthermore, 'perhaps there will be sequel to this. He said he was madly in love with me. He ought to write one book at least about me'.

Thinking that, you'd indulge in another book, with my name on it and consume all that I had to give. And try to find yourself -In me.

Why do you have to find yourself in me? Don't you know, how you left a part behind when you refused to talk. Talk anymore about what had gone wrong?
You want to see how I perceive you today? You want to search yourself in the things I do?

What do you ask of a writer, who has forgotten his existence?  Who writes to discover himself, after losing his senses in the person he claimed to love more than anyone else?

When you are everything that is there, what are you looking for? Are  you trying to find light in the sun, or a shadow in the dark?

You are looking for that drop in the ocean which I set fire to, last summer. There is no soul anymore. It's gone!

Then, why do you read? Especially my books?

I promised, I would lend you my bifocals... 
You should've waited.
Or...
Come back...Now..
Because I know I am going to live till I am 80 or even more... for many many years.. 
I have already tasted death..  

She walked around the city looking for bookstores hoping to find a book she hadn't read- With his name.

The book she was looking for, was never published! 

Two Sides

On one side there is chaos
Other side -depth

Depth of silence and calmness
that comes from drowning in the waters of nothingness
Rarely do I find a place where choices are in such contrast
And I want both! 

I want life to elude me, entertain me, as I do 
I want life to be faithful, like I am -to it..
I want life to know I want it as much it wants me
I know it does!

It wants me to feel the love and pain
And I want it to feel the same
It tries to hurt me really hard
And I want to go on, un-scarred

It wants me to appreciate its value
I do! I really do!
But I want life to appreciate what I give, too
Does it?

The other side, the choice -
The flip side of chaos is serenity
..where there is life, but no life...
Only depths of illusions and heights of wonder

It asks nothing of me.
And I ask nothing of it..
We exist together
Like no two entities would have existed better
- In Harmony!

Someday I'll embrace it
This choice – I’ll hold it and grace it! 
And I know I wouldn't regret..
Because I have been on the brink 
For far too long!

The weakest link

Picture Courtesy : © Diba Raza

I am stuck onto you...

like a stone to a twig

you bear the weight of my soul

and never complain!

I have tangled and enforced

undone, reinforced

my love for you..

A thousand times and more

and you never refrain!

How do you define love?

People ask.

Letting go, or holding on?

You have let gone

You say!

You know what? 

I am still holding on! 

The mightier, prettier comforts, I don't see

You are my weakest link, 

they break you, they break me!

No time for love

I have been so busy with work and other commitments that I've had no time for my love - writing! I miss it, but I'll resume it very soon. Meanwhile, a Thoughtful Thursday says:

We want you, not your money. As long as you're at fight club, you're not how much money you've got in the bank. You're not your job. You're not your family, and you're not who you tell yourself. You're not your name.You're not your problems.You're not your age.You are not your hopes. You will not be saved. We are all going to die, someday.
~ Fight Club (1999)

The movie has always intrigued me. This time, I am reading the book. "Fight Club" - it's gory, but worth exploring. Pick it up, or watch it. Love it, or hate it. But don't miss it! :) 

BRB!

The One

'I am bored to death! Not doing anything related to project.'

'Why? So tell me more, are you missing her?'

'Yes, but not working is not because of her. '

'Ok '

'On the contrary, if I work on the project I will not miss her'

'So, are you missing her, or are you missing the attention?'

'Hmmm... what I am missing the most is a purpose. Or Goal.....What's missing in your life? If there is anything?'

'Ummmm.....'

***
'Just a thought, let me know what do you think?'

'What?'

'Love is an adulterated version of lust'

*pause*

'Naah. I don't agree'

***

'Blogpost on Love and Lust will be up in sometime.'

'One day I shall file a lawsuit on you for copyright infringement'

'I had to make my point, because I don't agree to that statement.'

'Let me know how many people have acknowledged that they read the post. How many of them have asked who made that statement? How many of them are good looking females?'

'How does that matter? You write your version, I will publish that! '

'My version is already published. Love is an adulterated version of lust. Period.'

'Love and lust cannot be compared. Period again.'

'I really really hope there is someone who will meet all the above requirements..'

***

Someone believes that there will be someone who will think exactly the way he thinks about Love and Lust. 

Somewhere, someone else is looking for someone who understands what a treat black coffee is. 

Some place else, someone is waiting for the excitement in life, which was long missing, and seeking it seems to be the only purpose in life.

We all are in a perpetual lookout for that ONE. Everyone has different definitions of 'The One'. Morpheus was looking for Neo. For him, Neo was the one. 

I am looking for a person who is calmness personified so that I find peace. That thing or person is MY ONE. 

No one ever stops looking for THE ONE, which makes us have a purpose in life. Most of us do not even know what is the purpose of our lives. I don't know either. Perhaps, if I have 'The One' then defining the purpose would become easier. 

This is an unending topic, and perhaps, this is just the beginning!

Btw, Who is John Galt? ;) ;)

You nailed it!

Picture Courtesy : Diba Raza

struggling to put your feet

in the memories of beautiful past

the shoe may give a bite

having tried a million times

to stay a child

may have shown you your true plight

Despite the sluggish memory, if you didn't derail it

you transcended back easily, you did it good

You nailed it!

who'd stop you from being 

happy and at peace,

when the bondage appears lush?

addicted, you start liking it

the dulcet sound

when your bones crush

Despite the eloquence of your man, if you didn't inhale it

you survived a domination, you stayed strong

You nailed it!

at sixteen when you were

married off to a stranger

and you thought he'd take care

a scintilla of words you found

would help you evolve

and give you an equal share

Despite the ship being broken, if you proudly sailed it

you lived a life of honor, woman! Bravo!

You nailed it!

***

PS: Girls are expected to grow up suddenly, once they get married. Irrespective of age, there is a lot that is demanded of them, and they have to comply. In the process, they lose a lot. Today is a Thoughtful Thursday, and I want to salute all the women, who've been doing great, despite all the situations after marriage! Kudos! You make me proud :)

PPS: Diba Raza, you rock, Girl! :)

Love - Creeper

Picture Courtesy : Diba Raza

Boundaries stand between two hearts

Dalliance ends slowly

Love finds its way, anyway.

Post-Independence day thought

I had a few things going on in my mind!

1. People who blame Gandhiji for the plight of India, today, do y'all think, getting India and Pakistan together should be our next step. How and when and why is baseless now. Just the thought! The very people who condemn Gandhiji's actions and decisions, are full of hatred for Pakistanis. Remember the last wish of Nathuram Godse? - He wants his ashes to be immersed in the Indus river of re-united India and Pakistan! If his reason of assassinating Bapu was union of the two nations, why is the motive not important anymore to people who have a grudge against Mahatma Gandhi?

2. The politicians, almost 99% of them, have huge wealth. They have hundreds of crores of rupees which they have gained and kept somewhere for what no one knows. They shy way from paying taxes, and add nothing to the nation's progress. There is a Poverty line defined. How about a limit to Richness? Everyone must agree that a man needs not more than a certain amount of money to live his life, and also leave a legacy behind for this next generations. The circle should be completed, and the money should flow. Ever thought of a limit to financial status? 

3. Elections are here, almost. It's been going on between BJP and Congress for a long time now - the seat, I mean. Do we have enough trust in our politicians, the new ones, so that we hand over the country in their hands? Or how about a dictatorship for India? I think, we've been menacingly democratic enough for a very long time now!

These are just thoughts. I would want to contemplate more and write, but time doesn't allow me! :)

Diving in again

I think I am ready to blog all over again. There are if and buts most of the times, and the situations are not very favorable either, but writing keeps me going. I have been working on the fiction, and I shall start posting it from tomorrow which is a slot for "Fictional Fridays". I think one chapter a week will be good, as it will give me sometime to get some reviews about the same, and make me understand what I am writing. It's been a while that I've indulged into a full -fledged fiction and I want to do that now. I seem to have almost forgotten how to write stories, weave plots and develop characters.

The next fiction may just be an attempt at going back to the roots and starting all over again. And I am not very good at it, so I'll just try to learn in the process of writing fiction. 

Today is a thoughtful thursday, and this is a nice start, I feel. I can give up publishing at times. But I can never give up writing! :) 

The Article from The Speaking Tree

Here's the Article which was published in  The Speaking Tree which triggered me to write "Glass half-full half-empty conundrum"

The debate on whether the glass is half-full or half-empty continues. The optimist says its half-full. The pessimist says it's half-empty.

The project manager says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow. The cynic wonders who drank the other half. The consultant says let's examine the question and prepare a strategy.

The worrier frets that the remaining half will evaporate by next morning.  The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn't. The entrepreneur sees the glass as undervalued by half its potential. The personal coach reminds the drinker that he can always fill the glass when he wishes.

The adolescent student says the glass is just another dirty trick played by the teacher to prove that students are dumb. The research scientist says that following initial observation and testing a working hypothesis for further research is "the glass is both half full and half empty and that their findings warrant further investigation with a more representative sample of glasses and contents".

The customer service agent will agree with you that the glass is half-full/half-empty and they will do anything in their power to fill the glass up at no extra cost. However after a full investigation you will be informed that you mistakenly received a half-full/half-empty glass since you only paid for a quarter.

The psychiatrist would ask you, "Is half-empty/half-full glass that important? Lets set that particular issue aside for a few moments and talk about what's really bothering you". The sales person will convince you that even though the glass is half full/half empty, you are getting more than your money's worth compared to buying a full glass. 

The perfect housewife would not leave the glass sitting there long enough for anyone to consider the question, but wash it up, dry it and put it back in the cabinet in a jiffy. No half-full, no half-empty in her world.... just a full glass or an untidy one. The phobic says yuck, someone drank off it and left their germs on the glass. The radical thankful child of Jesus says, "the cup runneth over".

The Taoist sees that the glass is both empty and half full, that neither half could exist without the other , requiring a point of balance in order to maintain equilibrium in the universe and therefore are merely two mirror images of the same realistic concept. 

So, in the purity of absolute truth, the glass is neither half full or half empty. The glass simply IS...

Revival of attempts

I am back again. I tried to stay away from blogging, so that I could concentrate on some good quality writing. I wanted to come up with a fiction, but that did not seem to work. There are so many social issues going on around, that my mind is stuck up there, and until I blurt that out, it is difficult to escape from reality and go into a parallel universe of imagination and write down something inspiring. I started with two fictions, but nothing came up which would, you know, hit the chord. It has just been beating itself around the bush and I've been watching it do it. Nonetheless, I am the reason behind it, to confess minimally.

Procrastination is such a good thing, at times, I feel that it allows you to exist in the moment, by putting away other things for a later date. You just are ! You simply exist in that moment and you procrastinate every other thing. Sounds great when I put it this way, but it sucks when I look at my lists of commitments. But what's so shameful in accepting the attempts which have gone futile? I gracefully accept it.

That reminds me of Bade Achhe lagte hai. I am sadly glued to this serial and I waited so many days watch the re-union of the great pair of Indian soap opera, only to be fooled. The mega episode clearly showed both the protagonists meeting and acknowledging each other's presence. They even call out each others names.. Ram!!!.... Priya???

And when I tune into the same channel again on a blue Monday which is dismally about to end, I realize they have completely ignored that part and have shown something entirely different, like they have not been united yet. My room-mate got a little sentimental, when she realized that the director was lying to her. She felt cheated. She said, this is not what was supposed to come in today's episode, why and how are they not together. I had no clue how to console the lady. But I was empathizing too.

So lying on Indian Television, cheating the viewers is another trend to increase the TRPs. The producers don't realize that there people who take it to heart when their favorite characters do not meet, and they feel worse when they have to wait for another week to have a cookie, because they gave up eating sweets until the time Ram and Priya met.

Yeah! Don't gimme those OMGs.. There exist such people. I live with them!

There is a lot going on the news these days. The Molestation case in Assam, Pranab being sworn in, Shinde becoming Home Minister, Anna fasting again, Power shutdown in north India, monsoons finally arriving in some parts of the country, whereas Bangalore being declared as drought hit. A lot of things are happening. I swear I have opinions on all of them, but what's the point speaking? Is anything going to happen.

There's a human chain on 3rd August that  I am going to participate in, which is an initiative by "IndiaAgainstCorruption" group. There are various events and activities being staged all across India. Apart from being uncorrupted and honest, I can extend the chain by being a link and support the cause. I am waiting for it! :)

That's all that's been going on. I wish I get back to blogging, whatever it may be. I so miss writing. Fiction will eventually come! :) Readers'  those who've demanded, please bear with me. I promise to come up with something which would be on good read! :)

Stay around!

Friends with Benefits

Very correctly someone has said "In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out.  It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.  We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. "

I have always thought, a friend is always supposed to help you find yourself, when you are lost.Rest everyone is something else.

But we use "Friends" for so many different kind people

1. Who lends you money
2. Who accompanies you for movies
3. Who has lunch with you at work
4. Who goes with you to a Toastmaster meeting
5. Who sits next to you at work
6. Who carpools with you
7. Who goes for meditation with you

But, do these people really help you in time of distress, do they understand you in and out?

Ofcourse someone who is really close to you, knows you, lits that fire in you when it goes out, that one friend is the BEST amongst all the good ones.

And this relationship is out of the world. They are like parents you selected for yourself, or a sibling you've never had, or a confidante who always wished to have.

After watching Dil Chahta Hai, I learnt one of the biggest lessons of my life. Every relationship has a limit, and if it is crossed, the relationship is ruined. That limit should always be respected. And similarly, in friendship too, there is a limit, which we all should respect, else, it really doesn't go the way, it could have.

A topic of discussion has always been, whether a guy and a girl can be friends. Someone whom I know, always emphasized that a guy and girl can never be friends.

I always believed that, as long as you respect the limit of "Friendship", you can remain friends even with a guy or vice versa. But the moment, when you bring in physical attraction into picture, you have crossed the limit and your thoughts have taken you to the place from where there is no coming back. No matter how much you try, you can never let that thought subside, and the friendship develops into something else. It is not just friendship alone. It is clubbed with attraction, leading to infatuation and usually concluded as love.

Then Friends, get the benefits, and in most cases, the guy and the girl get married and have a happy ending, otherwise, it ends on a bad note.

That limit, of friendship, if maintained, makes life really really simple.

So, I wish I could tell that one person who always kept telling me that a guy and a girl can never be friends, that yes, they can be, if things are kept the way they are supposed to be.

Lately, most of us, have friends with benefits. We kill our emotions, and feelings and convince ourselves that a particular person is just a friend, with xyz benefits. It is a mutual understanding and things go on pretty smoothly.

I have always wondered how does this concept work? Because I am someone who doesn't use her brain to think. I just feel things from my heart.

Do you know anyone who are friends with benefits? How does the concept work? Does the conscience remain clear, is not getting attracted so easy, when there are such pretty things around?

Benefits! It's a positive word, but with a lot of negative repercussions hidden!

Friendship is beautiful. I wish it remained the way it is supposed to be. The way Krishna and Sudama had.


PS: This post is dedicated to Priyanka Ganatra Kariya, the sweetest friend I ever had! :) 

Right vs Wrong

I have been thinking about a lot of things lately. One of them being the concept of trusting people and sticking by what you feel is right. There are many times when we are proven wrong, most of the times by our parents and elders.

And as we grow older, we realise, that there are a few friends with whom we get along really really well and with some, we just don't gel.

I realised, two people may have the same taste, same thinking, but their behavior and beliefs may be totally different. What is right according to me, may be completely wrong according to my friend. The simplest example being, eating non-vegetarian food. If one does it, doesn't mean it is wrong, it only means, in my perspective, I do not "feel" it right to eat meat, whereas in someone else's perspective, destroying "plants and trees" would be a greater offense. No one is right or wrong, it's just the difference of perspective. 

There are so many fights which go unresolved, because we just fail to see the perspective of the other person. I was always in a continual pursuit to understand the concept of what is right and what is wrong. To speak of something which is morally and ethically wrong would be sex before marriage - for most of us. Well, the times have now changed, but I still do know people who believe and stick by it. I also know people who say, it's totally fine to take a plunge into the curious domains of exploring and living by instincts rather than doing what the society has defined as "Correct".

If we assume that we would be "punished" for the wrongs we do, then we should consider the occidental culture as a gateway to hell. But really is that so? If God or any Superior power were to decide our fate  depending on whether we've slept before marriage or not, then it would be so unfair. I don't think it's His business to do all that. He has given us enough power to decide what is right and what is wrong. But how do we do it? 

I considered a situation. If I was very poor, without any money to make my ends meet, and if my kid was starving, would I steal to feed my child? My answer was "Yes". I would steal! But isn't stealing wrong? 

If my heart says, that it's right, I would know it's right, no matter what the society, the police or the court thought. My heart is the perfect guide, and if says or guides me towards something, it can never be wrong.

So, it's really simple, you see. Just listen to that heart. And I know, I tried doing that too.,.. but that voice is lost somewhere, where it is busy judging who is right and who is wrong, it's busy passing judgements to other people. I do not find it to my rescue, when I am in a dilemma.

And how to get that voice back? I think I just need to sit back, for a while, know Myself, give it a chance to speak to me, and help me know what is indeed right, and what is wrong! And then, I wouldn't care what the world thinks! :)

Don't Strangle me

She stood at the brink. The terrace had no parapets. I thought she would plunge. I called out to her, she turned back and smiled. Oh! She was just enjoying the view. I asked her if she minded stepping back and standing at a safer spot, she simply replied in negation. He voice slightly hinted a smile, teasing me.

I was worried. I knew her since ages. She wouldn’t do the unreasonable. She was an optimist. She was a hardworker. She was a dreamer. She had zillion dreams to fulfill. She wouldn’t jump. Of course not!

I remember how she once told me about getting a penthouse on the topmost floor of a huge building in Mumbai. She wanted to sleep on the open terrace, watch the stars in the sky and count the cars on the road, which appeared like tiny dots. She said she would take me there too. Show me how it looked from up there. I have a fear of heights. But I knew sharing her vision would not be scary at all.

She still stood there at the edge as my heart raced. I called out to her again. She asked me to sit, while she sat there too, her legs dangling out of the terrace. She seemed carefree, like she had done these stunts before. She asked me how was I doing. I had no reply. I wanted her on the other side of the terrace. Safe. Then probably I could’ve answered her questions. I was getting restless. I approached her. She knew I was afraid of heights. She asked me to stay where I was. I got closer. She yelled at me. I yelled back, asking her to come to the other side and be safe.

She refused and told me she was good enough to take care of herself. I felt restless. I rushed to her and pulled her inwards. She tried to free herself, and said “Don’t strangle me”.

While I pulled her more, she struggled, and soon I lost grip. I realized, I had pushed her from the building. Four floors. Down. Over the slab.

She was sitting safely. With a slab 1 meter under her feet. She had a safety measure in place. I didn’t see it. I pushed her over it. To death.

I only remember her last few words. Nothing else. “DON’T STRANGLE ME”. I had.