Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Close up "Fire-Freeze" Contest

This is my entry to Close Up "Fire-Freeze" contest at Indiblogger. The votings begin from today, i.e. 1st Feb 2011.
What is your story? Have you ever had a magical moment when you felt two strongly opposite emotions? Love/Hate? Elation/Sadness? Anger/Aympathy? The desire to move forward yet run away at the same time?...
Post it on your blog and submit your entry at Indiblogger.

And if you like mine, vote it here --> Replaced @Indiblogger!

***
Replaced

She stood outside the Arrival area looking at the flight timings. The flight was delayed by two hours.
She sat on one of the trolleys. She had not taken a ticket to enter the waiting area.

"Wait till I come back." His voice suddenly disrupted her thoughts.

She almost thought he was around. She looked intently at a couple who seemed to be meeting after a long time.
She recollected the way he smiled, crookedly. She smiled as she sketched his face.

"I have no choice but to wait", she'd say.
He'd kiss her.

She relived the moments, felt a strange void. She felt a jitter as her thoughts started flowing.

"What's wrong with you? Why don't you answer my calls?“ she'd ask.
"What is your problem, Maya? Either I don't understand, or you don't", he'd shout back on the phone.
"You have no time to talk to me“, she’d cry.
"I have time for nothing. You know that", he'd make his point.

She wiped her tears, as she thought about the times when they fought.
She got up again to have a look at the flight status. She came back and sat where she was sitting, having realized that there were still 40 minutes over an hour for the flight to arrive.

"Marry me", he'd proposed her, when they were travelling in the metro.
She thought, it was the most unromantic thing he would have ever done.
She didn't know what to say.
"Are you crazy?", she asked.
"No", he said looking into her eyes.
"What? Stop that!", she said, blood rushing through her body and showing on her cheeks.
She felt his touch on her face. She could feel him caress her hair. Every memory of the past seemed alive.
"Yes or no?", he came closer to her and asked.
"No", she whispered back.
"Yes or no", he kissed her on her neck. She pushed him back.
"Madam", called out a security personnel.
She gathered herself when the security guard interrupted her thoughts and asked her to take a seat inside. She got up from where she was sitting. She strolled around looking at the people, noticing their expressions.

"When will you come back", she asked.
"I have no idea, sweetheart", he replied, packing his bags.
"I hate you", she said.
"And I love you", he replied.
"Marry me", she proposed.
He looked at her, smiled and exclaimed, „Women!!"
She smiled thinking about how silly she acted at times.
"Will you come back?", she asked in doubt.
"Why are you so insecure? Don't be afraid of anything. You are my girl. Be brave", he said
"I am scared of...“, she started.
"Ssshhhh", he comforted her, as she started crying.
"But do come back", she wept.
"I will. But promise me that you'll be brave", he asked for a commitment.
She nodded.

Her mind filled with lots of noises, voices from everywhere. The horns, the chatter, and the phone ring..
She found herself re-living a conversation.

"Maya", said a voice.
"Ya", she replied, half asleep.
"He's dead", said the voice on the other end
She woke up startled.
"Alok? What?", she went speechless.
"Maya..", the voice from the other end called out. The man on the other end laughed,
"Maya, it's me Alok. Relax."
"Don't ever do that to me", she yelled and hung up.
'Face your fears, Maya. I will see you on Sunday.' He messaged.

She re-read the message- Smiled.
After a moment she felt nothing. She had been wanting to cry. Cry out loud, with no consolations.
But she felt nothing.
She approached the arrival area. She found a few familiar faces. She put in great efforts to smile back to the people.
She tied her hair back, looked at the flight status again. The flight had arrived. She stood there with a few people she knew. It was a dull Sunday.
For a moment, fear gripped her. She almost cried. She ignored the people who stood beside her for support.
"You are my girl, be brave." It rung in her head again and again.
She was shivering. She smiled at a known face she saw from distance. Then she saw him come, wrapped in the national flag, with fellow soldiers marching, dignifying the martyr.
She smiled. She felt strong, even though her worst fears had come true.
“Be brave”, she heard it again and again.
It was a closure. The thin line of facing her fears was finally crossed. She no more had fear of losing him. She had replaced Fear with Courage.

14 comments:

  1. Wow!!! Great work!!
    All the best :)

    Here's my story:
    http://fu-ck-lo-ve.blogspot.com/2011/02/fire-freeze-moment-of-my-life.html#comments

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG what a blog, while reading this i was really experiencing all the emotions & the feelings, i read it twice, it's amazing, All the best yamini & thanks for sharing this piece wid us!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG what a blog, while reading this i was really experiencing all the emotions & the feelings, i read it twice, it's amazing, All the best yamini & thanks for sharing this piece wid us!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This story really reflects your "an obscure optimist" attitude...haa

    just like to point out one thing, when i read Harsh, its first occurrence, it interpreted as the english word "harsh" not a indian name.
    If this is an international competition, even if its not, you may have to take care of the names you use.

    Anyways, All the best dear.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Raj: thanx.. Great work at your end too :) Am unable to comment on ur blog!!


    @Divya: I really appreciate you being such a regular reader at 'an Obscure Optimist'. Thanks a ton for the encouragement :)


    @Anon: Point taken. :). Shall change the name :)
    Thank yoú :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. The Story amazed me. Beautiful Conversations!
    Hands Down.

    Here's My story :http://istupify.wordpress.com/2011/01/28/the-incomplete-reunion/

    ReplyDelete
  7. wow...

    a chill passed through me reading the ending... loved it like anything...

    I am glad i came across the post..
    very well written

    my story is here...
    http://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=46830

    if you like it reclick the promote to promote...

    ReplyDelete
  8. WOw .... Is'nt just amazing...
    Of all the posts I read for this contest .... yours touched me the most ..... very very nice ... will publish it on my FB ... if you dont min

    All the very best ..... Do read Mine and if you like it vote for it too ..

    http://delectableflavors.blogspot.com/2011/02/convenience-of-escapism.html

    Ritz..

    ReplyDelete
  9. Owww...so touching...i like the way you have left some things unexplained.
    Touching. And even in real life its safe to play courageous.

    Wish u luck
    http://lotus-n-peacocks.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-want-him-to-die.html

    ReplyDelete
  10. @ istupify: Thanks :) Will check out your post too.

    @ ♥ÐÅyÐяєÅмє®♥ : thanks. Glad u liked it.

    @ Ritz: Thanks for such a generous comment. :)

    @ Varu: Thanks.. Glad u finally visited the blog!

    @ p00ja: Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  11. Wonderful Yamini.....i just loved it.....
    From now on, m gonna be one of the regular reader of ur blogs ! ! !

    ReplyDelete
  12. @ Meeta : Thank you. :) and stay glued!

    ReplyDelete
  13. great story! i will definitely be coming back to your blog for more things to read!

    btw, i also closeup firefreeze.. the feeling it leaves in my mouth is just incredibly fresh! :)

    ReplyDelete

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