Zuri

Zuri, 

Envy. Envy is bad. But it is genuine. 

You know what's better than envy - hate. 

Because there is no dilution in that emotion. And you, my love, feel that you are far from love because of the milligrams of hate you harness in tiny corners of your heart. Every human does!

I know he left you crying. I know your friends don't get you. You have no friends whatsoever, but you exist. And believe me, if you exist with a little love, life would be so different. 

Do you believe in magic? Do you want to see it? 

Love people despite the hurt and see what happens to their eyes. 

Dance and tell. Write and tell. Sing and tell. But, express. I know you can't. The hurt is too overpowering. You believe that no one deserves your grace. 

But you do, sweetheart!!

In loving others you will discover yourself again. Forgive the annoying little habits of people. Forgive all those who have taken joy away from you. Forgive those who have betrayed and those who have left you because of your incompleteness. 

It's difficult to complete others when they are not complete themselves. 

You are. 

Forgive yourself and love. 

Love like you are a magician, born to turn every wailing face into a smiling one. Let the spark in you ignite one more time and pass on your light to the people around you. Enough of this hate. 

When you keep love to yourself, it never grows. So is the case with hurt. 

Stop wherever you are and breathe. 

Live the moment and feel the love. 

You are now the light bearer, Zuri. You don't know it. Don't pretend that you are cold with remorse, whereas you are an entity of love. Go forth and be yourself. 

You are not enveloped by sadness or pessimism, they are just illusions. 

Love oozes out of cracks and you are full of them. 

Let it flow, like a stream, a never ending stream and let all those who've let you down know, that you have gotten back up and forgiven them. 

There is nothing more powerful than forgiveness. 

Let go. 

Dalliance

Midnight, sharp, my cell beeped. I got a message from an unknown number that wished me the most beautiful birthday.

“No matter what they wish for, no matter how far they go, people can never be anything but themselves."

be you! always. Happy birthday!

No, it wasn't my birthday.

Yes, I wished it was.

Because this person on the other end was quoting a Murakami. And he/she had effortlessly used one of his quotes as a birthday wish. Who could possibly be as crazy as I am about an Author of a foreign origin, who writes about dysfunctional humans and cats!

"Sorry. Looks you have the wrong number", I replied.

After waiting for almost an eternity, the cell beeped again.

"Shruti?"

My fingers went over the qwerty in million different patterns.

I managed to type, "No! Wrong number."

An instant response almost ended the conversation.

"Murakami, huh?", I pinged back again, curiosity piling up.

"Seriously?!!", came the response.

"Sorta!", I replied.

"Very Impressive"

"This was perhaps Shruti's earlier number", I pinged resorting to small talk.

"Chance encounters are what keep us going!", the ping came back.

This person was referring to Kafka. That was my favorite read. I wondered if soulmates ever existed.

"No small talks please", the request instantly came in. Rude, I thought!

Our talks didn't limit to Murakami alone. It spanned over my favorite authors and favorite discussions. I had no clue who the person on the other end was. Was it a man, woman, girl, boy, an aged gentleman, a well read retired principal from a school, a librarian, a college student or a doctor? I had no idea at all. I started looking forward to late night chats, discussing books after books, the interpretations, philosophies, how characters came to life in our mundane lives, and how silly quotes from books made utter sense in real world. We lived in parallel universes, entwined in a love affair - unknown, yet very true.

I liked how the fling lasted more than a week. For a month. Almost a year. 

"I saved your name as Reiko", I pinged one fine day.

"How about Midori? or Sumire?", came the reply.

I had not imagined a girl to be on the other end discussing books with me all these days. I did not know, suddenly how I felt about it.

"Good choice", I responded, not sounding too surprised about the discovery.

I saved her number with the name as "Sumire", while she called me Miu.

Like an ethereal escape, both of us deluded into our own lives, realizing, how Sputnik Sweetheart must only be a fiction.

How Dog's pee saved me a meal!

Pic Courtesy : thinkstock

Some things are so funny! Sadly funny. Sadly-punch-you-in-the-face-funny! You really can't do anything about it!

So, I am a Vegetarian who eats eggs, whatever you may want to call that! So when I go out for a dinner party with few other people who like to eat meat, red or plain, I usually think that I'll get to have what I desire in the vegetarian cuisine, because they  get to pick what they eat, without my interference!

So this is what happened, once upon a time!

After debating over potential restaurants which serve good Veg and Non-Veg food, I went to this swanky place with a few other people (those who shall not be named!). It had a low lit ambiance, quite to my liking and it smelled lovely in there. I was so attracted by a steaming plate of vegetables that the waiter passed by me with, to another table, that I mentally decided what I would be ordering!

Being the only vegetarian, I boldly called for my order, trying to customize it as per my liking. I called for  Sauted vegetables tossed with garlic in soy sauce and honey. I love the taste, don't judge me! While I was indulging in what I'd call a gluttony-initiation, a strong opposition came in!

"Vegetables?? Are you mad! Order, Paneer no!", one of them said.

"I don't like Paneer so much", I replied.

"Don't worry, main kha lunga! Aur mere liye ek Chicken Lollipop kar dena bhaiyya", he added.

"Ok, then one paneer tikka with Sauted vegetables", I said.

"Arre? Tu akeli hai, kitna Veg order karegi? Itna hoga kya khana?", he asked.

"Tu Paneer khayega, toh main kya khaungi?", I asked.

"Pura thodi na khaunga re pagli!", he replied.

I thought, perhaps it is a good idea to order just one vegetarian dish, instead of ordering two. I always make sure that I never waste food. So I ordered the Paneer tikka in yellow coating with green chutney! I kinda convinced myself, that paneer ain't that bad, after all! I was also hoping I'd get 80% of the share, because - Hanger(Hunger+Anger) makes you do silly things and how much paneer would a non-vegetarian eat?

The order started coming in slowly. As usual, the Vegetarian Starter came in first. Everyone on the table, 8 of them, asked the waiter to serve it to them. There are just 8 pieces of Paneer in Paneer Tikka. And the guy who loved Paneer got one extra. For an appetite of an elephant, I was starving and I got served with just one piece of the starter! And all the self proclaimed non-vegetarians were hogging on the only little food that had come my way!

"Hey guys, I'll order one more, you'll eat?", I asked trying to curb my anger.

"Nai nai. We are Non Veg. Chicken aayega na. You order, you order!", they said.

"Toh bhaiyya, ek Mushroom ka starter kar do koi bhi. Bohot Bhook lagi hai!", I did not even look at the menu.

"Mushroom? You are a vegetarian no? Why eat Mushroom?", one of them said.

"See, I am a different kind of a vegetarian! I love Mushrooms and Eggs and I don't want to classify this food or me as anything, at the moment. So call  me anything you want!" I said, frustrated.

"So call yourself a non vegetarian then, why have fancy name tags for yourself!", one argued.

A good debate is possible only when one is fed full. I wasn't, so i ignored with a cursory smile.

The chicken starters started to come in and they all looked jubilant. I ignored their faces as I traced the waiter who took my order. I hoped for him to come back soon with the order. I was sure, I could eat more, considering I'd get just one more piece of Mushroom.

"So, main course?", I asked.

"Nai, we have ordered enough starters. Hum log nai khaenge", they all said. 

7 vs 1! I couldn't have argued. They don't serve small portions for a single vegetarian eater! What a shame!

I feel sometimes it's better to go out for dinner with people who know you best (read - who let you eat your food and who eat theirs!), and not with people who call them selves "Pure Non-vegetarians" and eat Vegetarian! It was not a very good feeling. After waiting for an eternity, my order finally came in! The waiter asked the others if they wanted Mushrooms, and they all nodded!

I couldn't take it anymore.

"You know Mushrooms are made from Dog pee", I declared, before the waiter could move the serving spoon!

"What? Are you serious?", they all asked in unison.

"No yaa, those are different mushrooms!", one said.

"Ewks, I can't eat it anymore, it's so disgusting that you said it out loud", the other said.

Good I thought. The others got busy on google, trying to find out the history of mushrooms. The waiter came my way and kept the entire plate in front of me. I ate to my hearts content, ignoring the discussions they were having. 

Finally one of them said, "You are worst than us. We are non-vegetarians. You are a dog-pee-eterian".

I smiled a happy smile - the one which comes when your stomach is full. I nodded gulping down a satisfying glass of water.

"Yes, I love dogs!! Their pee too!!", I said.

And there was no hypocrisy in that! Finally a dog-fact saved this vegetarian a meal!

Also, No! The edible mushrooms have nothing to do with dog pee. This is jan hit me jaari! ;)

Who's M, Who's S?

Pic Courtesy: Diba Raza

M,

Liberation time!

Xoxo, S

***

This -on the coffee table; I sip my coffee conjecturing!

Who’s M? Who’s  S? Liberation?

M -master, S -slave, spiritual liberation?

M for mom, S for son – suicide?

M for Michelle, S for Shaun, breakup?

M is my name too!

Déjà vu!

I crumple into nothing, as the past hits me.

Re-Genesis!

© yamini

I have not blogged, or written in the longest time, and people have been asking me why so? I never took writing seriously, but this is an exercise to the mind, if not anything else. A very healthy outlet, which eases me out of a lot of tension.

So, to all those who come here and return back, without seeing any updates, here I am, back again, with another sprint! I want to say, that I will be regular henceforth, but writer's block is like pee; if you drink too much, you have to go.
I do not promise to be here forever, I do want to start writing regularly again. And the agenda, like always is as follows:

Monday Musings - for the love of poetry, and ramblings in rhythm.

Tangy Tuesdays - Gossips, Bashing, Opinions and All sorts of masala that, I otherwise do not write on social media.

Wordless Wednesdays - for the love of photography, when pictures speak more than words

Thoughtful Thursdays - When delving on important issues of life, often leads to sensible/senseless rantings.

Fictional Fridays - attempt to revive to the old art of story telling, through short or serial fictions

Silent Saturdays - Who blogs on a weekend? huh?

Surreal Sundays - because sometimes, you write so much, that you never wanna stop, and Silent Saturdays, bother the bejesus out of you! So you write, on a Sunday too!

Also, bringing back the tradition of Aisa Bhi hota hai, guests and impromptu posts, I hope to keep this space alive, until it slowly slips into another slumber!

Ready? Let's begin then! ;)

Re-Genesis!

© yamini

I have not blogged, or written in the longest time, and people have been asking me why so? I never took writing seriously, but this is an exercise to the mind, if not anything else. A very healthy outlet, which eases me out of a lot of tension.

So, to all those who come here and return back, without seeing any updates, here I am, back again, with another sprint! I want to say, that I will be regular henceforth, but writer's block is like pee; if you drink too much, you have to go.
I do not promise to be here forever, I do want to start writing regularly again. And the agenda, like always is as follows:

Monday Musings - for the love of poetry, and ramblings in rhythm.

Tangy Tuesdays - Gossips, Bashing, Opinions and All sorts of masala that, I otherwise do not write on social media.

Wordless Wednesdays - for the love of photography, when pictures speak more than words

Thoughtful Thursdays - When delving on important issues of life, often leads to sensible/senseless rantings.

Fictional Fridays - attempt to revive the old art of story telling, through short or serial fictions

Silent Saturdays - Who blogs on a weekend? huh?

Surreal Sundays - because sometimes, you write so much, that you never wanna stop, and Silent Saturdays, bother the bejesus out of you! So you write, on a Sunday too!

Also, bringing back the tradition of Aisa Bhi hota hai, guests and impromptu posts, I hope to keep this space alive, until it slowly slips into another slumber!

Ready? Let's begin then! ;)

Fernweh

Picture Courtesy: Diba

I belonged to you

my dear

long before I knew I 

belonged to myself..

Places can be homes..

but for me it has been You

And I have been searching

for the warmth

since eons..

Walking into the unknowns
looking for a
place that seems familiar
which is nothing,but you...

Come to me, 

like a longing

that stays and never goes

come to me and stay.
I have traversed enough
I want to see

what you look like

or seem.

or feel.

Come.