On Women's Day, lets thank the Men!

For once, let's forget about all misinterpretations that we hold about feminism and think of all the men who have empowered us to be whoever we are.

Let's thank the men, who have been perfectly alright with our innate ability to express and argue.
Who have encouraged us to voice our opinions and have a say in all matters.

Pic Courtesy : Huffington Post

To the fathers, who never shut down their daughters because they were too "bold" for the society. To the fathers, who did not mind their daughters slipping into shorts and flip flops while going out for a movie. To the fathers who argued that the daughters needn't learn the kitchen chores alone and needed to do whatever the boys did. To the fathers, who did not differentiate between their sons and daughters and played football with them equally, without judging who hit the ball harder.
To the fathers who set an example of how a wife is treated, and made the daughter realize that she shouldn't be settling for anyone less. To the fathers who, proudly let the daughters pursue careers in the Defense, where women recruitment is not common. To the fathers who shared all responsibilities with their wives proving that in a relationship there are no written rules~everything has to be equal. To the fathers, who openly spoke of sex, drugs, politics without creating biases about subjects one could talk with their daughters. To the fathers, who made sure no one blamed women drivers again!

Let's thank the men, the husbands, who have selected a woman for a wife and not a maid. The husbands, who are proud to flaunt their wives in their social circles, because she is a one of the prime contributors to the life they both have decided to create. To the husbands, who share all responsibilities, monetary and household, parents' and children, friends and family and create a balance. To the husbands, who are not ashamed of their wives earning more. To the husbands, who encourage their wives to take up promotions, if offered, without pulling her down, demanding family responsibilities. To the husbands, who love their wives, not own them, but have set them free, to make choices, that would best benefit the relationship. To the husbands, who stand up for their rights too, and do not allow "Feminazis" to get the better of them, proving that equality for all should be the crux of all ideologies. Let's thank the husbands who do not force their wives for anything - even sex! To the husbands who respect their wives and command respect in return. (Respect is not demanded, it is commanded!)

Pic Courtesy : Google Images

Let's thank the brothers who not only protect their sisters, but also teach them how to stand up for themselves. To the brothers who fight and argue, but at the end of the day love their sisters unconditionally. To the brothers who do not dictate their sisters what to wear and what not to, because they know everyone has a right to express. To the brothers who believe girls can do a Chokeslam to the cue if taught well. To the brothers, who wish for their sisters to have boyfriends and husbands like them, because they care so much for her. To the brothers who know, and acknowledge, that women can indeed hit harder - and it pains!

Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Let's thank the boyfriends, who believe in honesty while dating, or building up a relationship. To the boyfriends who empower their girl friends emotionally as well as mentally to be who they are. To the boyfriends who put time and efforts into a relationship, not to have fun, but to build a foundation for what in future could turn into a beautiful bond. To the boyfriends who do not misuse the liberties given to them. To the boyfriends who are faithful, who are practical and who do not tolerate misuse of women power to be dragged into abuse either ways. To the boyfriends who respect a girl's privacy, her right to talk to other friends, boys and girls and her independence. To the boyfriends who allow and expect women to pay on a date. To the boyfriends who understand that dating a strong woman is a very empowering thing to do. To the boyfriends, who are not afraid of living or being associated with a woman who has her own identity.

Pic Courtesy : Google Images

Let's thank the sons, who believe and accept that the major part of their lives was shaped by their mother, who is an epitome of love, sacrifice and patience. To all the sons who feel proud of their mothers despite their educational status, background and knowledge of a certain language.  To the sons who do not give up on their mothers because life takes a different turn. To the sons who protect, serve and give back to their mothers what she gave them all through their lives.
To the sons, who understand and accept the disabilities and challenges that may pose and support the parents in times of ill health. To the sons who make their mothers feel proud for having borne a son who respects women, and is an example for all the men out there.

Let's thank the men, who do not drool over a cleavage when a girl wears a low neck top. To all the men who do not judge women who drink, smoke or wear skimpy clothes. Also the men, who do not judge women, who have undone brows, sad dressing sense, and a bad figure. To the men who believe that women are human beings too, they are an individual who have the right to make a choice, express and be the way they want to. To the men who do not treat women as objects. To the men who let women open the door, pull their own chairs. To the men who are proud of a woman leader, who do not call women bossy and are not demeaned by women taking over certain professions. To the men who are men, but respect women because of their inherent beauty but do not wish or desire to possess it. To the men who are free and who set women free!

This could as well have been a Men's day post. Why am I writing about Men, here, when there are so many pertinent Women issues out there? Also, when today, it's Women's Day?

Certain societies have percolated different ideas about how a man or a woman should be, and that is something that needs to fade away with the increasing literacy (and wisdom).  Men have been overpowering, commanding, exploiting women since centuries. But now the times have changed. Women don't need to prove or fight with anyone to be who they are. They are already powerful. Women could not be who they are because of suppression from the society and it's ideologies about men being the dominant sex.

That's exactly why, we need(ed) a Women's Day to highlight what issues persisted and how things have now become better in some parts of the world, where still some parts are dealing with issues like Female Genital Mutilation. The idea of what a women should be or do, is still dictated by men in certain societies. Just because women have privileges in certain part of the world, doesn't mean we can turn a blind eye towards where women are suffering to an extreme extent.

Men in many parts of the world, live under the idea of being the "boss", having the power of exploiting women, they need to know, that, that's not how it works. While things have changed now, it is very important to have a revision about basic human rights and both the genders existing peacefully without overpowering the other.

The men who do all of the above as a father, husband, BF or a son - congratulations, you are a feminist, already, if you have not understood what it means, yet!

Women who are lucky to have these men, you don't need a women's day, every day is a women's day for you.

Being a woman is a blessing. The strength, the grit is unmatched! Kudos, fellow Women for finding yourselves and being who you truly are. Happy Women's day!

And Dear Gentlemen - Thank you!

For most of us, every day is a celebration, because of individuals like you!

How Dog's pee saved me a meal!

Pic Courtesy : thinkstock

Some things are so funny! Sadly funny. Sadly-punch-you-in-the-face-funny! You really can't do anything about it!

So, I am a Vegetarian who eats eggs, whatever you may want to call that! So when I go out for a dinner party with few other people who like to eat meat, red or plain, I usually think that I'll get to have what I desire in the vegetarian cuisine, because they  get to pick what they eat, without my interference!

So this is what happened, once upon a time!

After debating over potential restaurants which serve good Veg and Non-Veg food, I went to this swanky place with a few other people (those who shall not be named!). It had a low lit ambiance, quite to my liking and it smelled lovely in there. I was so attracted by a steaming plate of vegetables that the waiter passed by me with, to another table, that I mentally decided what I would be ordering!

Being the only vegetarian, I boldly called for my order, trying to customize it as per my liking. I called for  Sauted vegetables tossed with garlic in soy sauce and honey. I love the taste, don't judge me! While I was indulging in what I'd call a gluttony-initiation, a strong opposition came in!

"Vegetables?? Are you mad! Order, Paneer no!", one of them said.

"I don't like Paneer so much", I replied.

"Don't worry, main kha lunga! Aur mere liye ek Chicken Lollipop kar dena bhaiyya", he added.

"Ok, then one paneer tikka with Sauted vegetables", I said.

"Arre? Tu akeli hai, kitna Veg order karegi? Itna hoga kya khana?", he asked.

"Tu Paneer khayega, toh main kya khaungi?", I asked.

"Pura thodi na khaunga re pagli!", he replied.

I thought, perhaps it is a good idea to order just one vegetarian dish, instead of ordering two. I always make sure that I never waste food. So I ordered the Paneer tikka in yellow coating with green chutney! I kinda convinced myself, that paneer ain't that bad, after all! I was also hoping I'd get 80% of the share, because - Hanger(Hunger+Anger) makes you do silly things and how much paneer would a non-vegetarian eat?

The order started coming in slowly. As usual, the Vegetarian Starter came in first. Everyone on the table, 8 of them, asked the waiter to serve it to them. There are just 8 pieces of Paneer in Paneer Tikka. And the guy who loved Paneer got one extra. For an appetite of an elephant, I was starving and I got served with just one piece of the starter! And all the self proclaimed non-vegetarians were hogging on the only little food that had come my way!

"Hey guys, I'll order one more, you'll eat?", I asked trying to curb my anger.

"Nai nai. We are Non Veg. Chicken aayega na. You order, you order!", they said.

"Toh bhaiyya, ek Mushroom ka starter kar do koi bhi. Bohot Bhook lagi hai!", I did not even look at the menu.

"Mushroom? You are a vegetarian no? Why eat Mushroom?", one of them said.

"See, I am a different kind of a vegetarian! I love Mushrooms and Eggs and I don't want to classify this food or me as anything, at the moment. So call  me anything you want!" I said, frustrated.

"So call yourself a non vegetarian then, why have fancy name tags for yourself!", one argued.

A good debate is possible only when one is fed full. I wasn't, so i ignored with a cursory smile.

The chicken starters started to come in and they all looked jubilant. I ignored their faces as I traced the waiter who took my order. I hoped for him to come back soon with the order. I was sure, I could eat more, considering I'd get just one more piece of Mushroom.

"So, main course?", I asked.

"Nai, we have ordered enough starters. Hum log nai khaenge", they all said. 

7 vs 1! I couldn't have argued. They don't serve small portions for a single vegetarian eater! What a shame!

I feel sometimes it's better to go out for dinner with people who know you best (read - who let you eat your food and who eat theirs!), and not with people who call them selves "Pure Non-vegetarians" and eat Vegetarian! It was not a very good feeling. After waiting for an eternity, my order finally came in! The waiter asked the others if they wanted Mushrooms, and they all nodded!

I couldn't take it anymore.

"You know Mushrooms are made from Dog pee", I declared, before the waiter could move the serving spoon!

"What? Are you serious?", they all asked in unison.

"No yaa, those are different mushrooms!", one said.

"Ewks, I can't eat it anymore, it's so disgusting that you said it out loud", the other said.

Good I thought. The others got busy on google, trying to find out the history of mushrooms. The waiter came my way and kept the entire plate in front of me. I ate to my hearts content, ignoring the discussions they were having. 

Finally one of them said, "You are worst than us. We are non-vegetarians. You are a dog-pee-eterian".

I smiled a happy smile - the one which comes when your stomach is full. I nodded gulping down a satisfying glass of water.

"Yes, I love dogs!! Their pee too!!", I said.

And there was no hypocrisy in that! Finally a dog-fact saved this vegetarian a meal!

Also, No! The edible mushrooms have nothing to do with dog pee. This is jan hit me jaari! ;)

D for Dépaysement

Picture Courtesy : Diba

Where have I landed? 
This is not my home... 
Strangers are smiling at me
Or has the laughter become
Unfamiliar?

I do not belong here... 
There is no warmth... 
My skin is turning blue
And the coldness of attitude
Is shrinking my heart
Into a lifeless stone.
My bones no longer feel
Your touch... 
Because it is not you.. 
Anymore.. 

Shadows are chasing me
Talking to me in voices so close
But i refuse to believe that they were
My people once... 
I don't recognize the heights of success
Nor songs of praises..

I do not understand the dark walls and frigid zones
Where people talk and convert deals
with just a handshake..

I want my deals of friendships back
Under the mid morning sun 
On the barks of trees
That filtered nature for us.. 

I don't know what joys bricks enclose.. 
I have always flown
And rested on leaves... 
Like dew drops..
Take me back home... 
Please.. 

Intolerance and all that crap…

When I chat with Kiran at home, she says, 'should we move out of India?' 

Aamir Khan said what most of the young population of India is already doing!

Just because he is a famous guy, and has garnered all that he has today by his stardom in India, doesn't mean that he is not persecuted. He could be who knows. We don’t know in what Mr. Khan takes offense. He may be saddened by religious intolerance, or disrespect to women, or banning of certain items. We don’t know! He is entitled to his views. He has not offended anyone!

If he has been treated like a king all throughout, it doesn't guarantee that his kids and their kids will be devoid of any comments or remarks. They may have their problems. Every one of us do.

My write-up is not in defense of Mr. Khan at all. He is free to do whatever he wants to do. My point is, why is leading news websites displaying this broadcast about how intolerant Mr. Khan thinks India is? He has just voiced his opinions.

Do I think India has been tolerant? Most definitely yes! This is the only country with the most successful democracy with over 7 religions, 3,000 castes and over 25,000 subcastes. And we have lived amicably all these years barring a few tiffs here and there.

This extent of secularism exists nowhere else in the world, and we have been a peaceful nation for over 65 years since independence. The Britishers came and went, and they could do nothing to shake the very foundation of our nation. We all respect our diversity and we all know what it means to stick together despite these outrages that happen every now and then. Whatever the media shows, is just to blind you of the clear notion that you have been holding all this while. 

Having said that, there is no denying, all over the world, around 1/3rd Indians are immigrants. That amounts to over 300 million people.  There are millions of people already doing something that Aamir Khan and his wife spoke about. 

Anyone reading this would agree that they know at least 10 people in their friend circle, or families, who are already out of India, or are trying to migrate or are appearing for exams so that they get to study and settle outside. How many people would readily opt to stay back in India? What are the major reasons that people are immigrating to other countries? Have we asked this to ourselves, to our families and friends? Don’t worry about Mr. Khan. 

What is our thought process? Just because he is a movie star, and has expressed his opinions, he makes it to the headlines? There are millions of people already talking about this over tea, and discussing about the VISA application processes. There are million more who are already about to leave India for the very reason you are slamming Mr. Khan!

Aren't there more important things happening around that needs coverage? What’s with the complacency? Why is media so erratic?

People who plan to move out of India, not only worry about themselves, or money, but they also worry about the future generations. Haven't we read numerous articles about how people are scared of bringing up their girl child in India? How Muslims are scared of making a living in a city like Pune, because they are not allowed to rent houses? How tamilnadu has closed its door for other non-tamil speakers? If this is not intolerance, what is?

Aamir Khan is a very famous guy, hence people like Mr. Kher are taking offence. I love my country too. But I am also practical enough to accept, that yes, unity in diversity is definitely at threat. Because we are being intolerant. 

The forces are slowly playing with our psyche and making us an intolerant lot. We WERE Tolerant earlier. Not anymore.. See how they are tricking us into a trap? Where we fight and kill each other? There won’t be any force required. Just manipulating the thoughts and tricking the psyche will do it all. They are doing so so well! The forces!

We are letting the very identity of a great nation like India succumb to external pressures. I am as lost as anyone who is wondering what state we’ve reached today? I am as dejected as anyone who is wondering what a wonderful nation India was, and how it’s going to the dogs. I am slowly losing faith in myself and my countrymen.

I will have my faith restored, when 1/2 of the immigrant population, decide to come back to India. I have no other measure! With increasing population, where immigration seems a better idea, I still wonder why isn't India, with all its talent a developed country yet? Because everything is draining away! Think about it! 

Anyway, I have to get back and help my friend with some IELTS study material!

Mr. Kher. Take a break! 

Diving in Lies

Picture Courtesy : Diba Raza

Tell only that's necessary..

hide everything else!

They don't need to know

when you come and where you go

Lie about it if you must

who's to tell what's unkind and what's just?

You bare only when you wish to

dare and hide everything within you

You go away far, lie that you will stay

you dream whenever you want, even if it's day!

You explore the lands of success and joy

the world's gentle banter will yet remain, Oh! Boy!

But that's what you always do

you go, lie girl, they don't deserve the truth!

Cheat on your love, kiss 'nother lip

go on a picnic- in that sea of silence take a dip

you owe no one anything

cry whenever you want, or rumble and sing

Even if you are alone, don't fear

You ran away from truth, nothing else would be near

But lie! Be a glib liar!

Talk with those eyes, set hearts on fire

Because that is what will take you till the last

 Leap into the future and smother that indelible past

Truth, you'll seek your own way, if you have to

just keep doing what you always do!

You hurt no one at least, happily they'd die

Even if all the things you ever said, were only a lie!

Por...tu....gal!!!

And Ronaldo is not the only reason why I support Portugal. After this...

.... I support it even more ;) 

Winter Blues

Picture Courtesy: Diba Raza

Walk a mile with me!

Will you?

That day when pieces of trust

lay on the floor,

My belief in love fogged

I cared for nothing more.

And how you knelt down

to a stranger with a lilac face

Cold, frozen, looking for -

a heart beat, a human trace

And then you walked by! 

Were you looking for your pieces too?

Broken pencils, fragile pages

green eyes- teary, your face colored blue!

It rained in my heart that day

as the city sunk in an unforgiving cold

the warmth began to dawn on me and you

as clouds began to unfold

A truth turned into a fiction

A fiction became true

A long path awaits

Walk a mile with me!

Will you?

***

PS: Cheers to winters! Only cold weather appeals, not cold people! Wishing everyone the warmth of love, life and wonder, this winter! :)

Love the person, or their deeds?

A few instances in the recent past, made me brood over this topic. Uncalled for, but what is life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare. Therefore, while staring at life, at a point, I started wondering whether people love me for who I am, or for what I do. I know a few people who have loved me because I have bought them gifts, I have thrown parties for them, treated them, driven them to places. I also know a few people who say they love me because I hear them out, because I am a good friend. But I am much more. Beyond these obvious qualities, which I express and do, which do seem pretty, I have a dark side too. I have my negatives and I am not proud of them, but I do have them. 

I get angry. I am impulsive. I am a pessimist most of the times, and like I have said on this blog over and over, it takes me time to creep out of the obscurity and appreciate the optimism. I am this person, and I accept myself the way I am. But many people don't. They love me for what I do for them. And when I get angry, impulsive, they stop loving me! They stop it altogether. Is it so easy to un-love someone? They only love the Good Obscure Optimist who always says pleasant things, who showers gifts and treats, who writes pretty poems on muses. But one bad post, makes her a horrible person, and makes people un-love her instantly. I get immediate texts saying, "I don't think I like you anymore". I laugh at such times. Not because it is funny, but because I am one of the outcasts! And I love that feeling.

When I talk about Love here, it is not just "ishq-wala-love", but general love. I tried to understand how do I go about it. I love and hold a few people close to my heart. I could do anything for them. I could fight the world, bare the storm, give all that I have and stand up for them, no matter what. That's how I love. That's my loyalty. Even if they have their negatives, even if they get angry at times, if they lie, if they get mean, or rude or go around making new friends, I would still love them. Because I never loved them, for what they did, I always loved them for who they were. 

Everyone comes with a package. Like I have mentioned in my earlier posts, for me love is acceptance. I accept the other person with this entire package be it positives or negatives. They may give me a pretty pair of earrings one summer, and I could feel elated, but that doesn't boost my love to turn into a craze, or they might lie to me, or get angry and say things, but that doesn't make me love them any less. I may get upset, sad, but I do not stop loving them. 

How does one stop loving people? How can one stop caring? This is the strangest question ever. I wonder, how manipulative emotions are, for some people, with so many "ifs and buts". We hurt our parents so much as we grow up, telling them our way of going about things. They may be right in their place, but we have this different view of life and things, and we teach them, instead, how their approach should be. Despite all this, our parents love us. Then, why is there so much adulteration in other loves. Love amongst friends or partners?

I am lucky to have a few people who take me the way I am, and despite my ugly side, they still stick around. They have not left me, and I am sure, after going through the worst, they are going to stick around for the rest of the life. On one hand, some people make me question the piety of love, on the other hand, some make me believe, that it's ok to live in hope. I have experiences both good and bad, but I have come to learn one thing for sure. I would always love a person for who they are, and not for what they do. Because a human being is a result of its circumstances, and it is not right to judge the act and conclude my feeling towards that person. With time, things may get better and my judgments may change. So loving the other person, is the best way to live. There is no other way! :)

Simple realisations, at times, make life totally worth living! :)

***

PS: Yes, even if the person I love, turns into a terrorist, I cannot come to hate that person. I have given it a thought.. Pretty much!

People who die young

Today is Tuesday, and I have nothing interesting to write.  But I do have something to write about. Yesterday, I got a mail about a colleague, aged 25-26, who passed away in an accident. I did not know him very well. He used to work in our office and had left the job to pursue his education in one of the IIMs.

I only remember him from that one interaction I had. Once there was this exhibition/fun fare organised by the employees in our office. He had a stall for CRY. He was promoting the NGO and all those who were interested could become a part of it through the already existing volunteers. He was one of them. I went to the stall, and inquired everything about how to make the donation for CRY. I was to give him a cheque the next day. Somehow, I couldn't meet him, and I made the payment online. That was the  only interaction I had with him. 

He was known to be someone who was very active in social service and similar kind of activities. And when I heard the news, I felt  really bad. For his family and for all the people who will now be deprived of his care and love. I hardly knew him, but I knew, world was definitely a  better place with people like him around, but not anymore.

This isn't the first time, that I have had questions like these in my mind. Why do good people have to die so early. I totally understand and know the concept of Karma and that they have finished their cycle here, and are on another journey. All fair! But, seriously, the world needs such people. 

I am someone who will only help in her capacity. I do not go out of my way to help others. If I have no food to cook and eat, I do not go about feeding others. That's the most practical approach, according to me. But there are people who live by that rule. They feel, if someone else out there is hungry and dying, how can one eat heartily and sleep peacefully.

These are the kind of people who are taken away too soon. There are some who bring about a change by talking and giving speeches, but there are some, who silently do their part without saying, mentioning anything. And when you hear a news such as this, it really makes one feel bad! 

A few days back, I read about a man, a librarian who donated all his earnings to the poor. It takes immense strength to do that for other people, who are not your own. For the sake of humanity, people do things like these and I believe they are exceptional God sent souls. Truly respectable. But when they face such nemesis, I question Justice and the Laws of the Universe. It's all meaningless. I know all the answers to my questions. The Karma one does, the fruit one gets -  it's an unending cycle which shall make sense if I see the bigger picture.

All wonderful people die too soon I feel. And the ones who deserve to die still hang around and corrupt the air! I wish there was more justice. Perhaps there already is, I am too small to understand the bigger meaning behind all this.

Incidences like these, makes me appreciate whatever I have, even more. There have been times, when i have complained incessantly. But, living, being alive, itself is the biggest gift ever! And people who want to die, because they have failed in exams, or relationships, they should know, some people want to live and do so much, but they don't get to! 

And if we are alive instead of those who should have been alive-  those who indeed had a purpose, we should be thankful!

Muse, A-muse

You know what, I have a muse. Or may be I have muses. I like to write on a few people, about a few people, and they inspire me. But I have never mentioned about someone who is an integral part of my Amusement. She is my A-muse. 

So so amusing, that at one point, I decided to kick her flat arse with a big fat baseball bat, but then I realized  it's very difficult to get a baseball bat in India. We don't play baseball. The American series and sitcoms have really made me believe that we are more or less, you know, Americans. Well, that aside, coming back to my amusement, I wanna smack her with something so hard, that her brains shift back to where they were supposed to be. But, well, if they stay right where they are, I can keep having my little amusement! >:D <EVIL GRIN>

At one point in life I was so fed up of this thing, my a-muse - oh well, let me begin all over. I have an object for amusement. I give it the female gender, because of it's appearance  It could be given a benefit of doubt and be called a male too, at times, but well, I call it "her". She is an Object nonetheless. Just a pretty little object. No human traits, otherwise, just cold, insensitive, speechless, emotionless little object. And I have hated it for a while.

But, I realized  the likes of Rumi, and Osho made me realize - that hate is futile. But humor is fun! The best way to hate someone is to make fun of them. Ouch, that hurt, didn't it. I was always this sarcastic champion in my head. I wouldn't blurt out expressions, fearing judgments and opinions, but what the heck, my blog, my a-muses and my comments. Who cares.

So among all the muses- the lovely ones, I have this one ugly A-muse. No no, don't judge me for being so cruel and commenting on her looks. She looks pretty. That's why people fall for her. All pretty objects attract all cruel intentions, don't they! 

But I know about all the ugliness and much funnier things that are really actually associated with her, that makes me wanna call her A-muse. She really amuses me. So, that's what she's gonna be. All of us, have one or the other a-muses in our lives. 

Let's face it. We do. I am someone's a-muse and I couldn't be happier if someone came and told me that they hate me so much that they wanna make fun of me! I'd be so thankful for considering me to be a source of entertainment for gloomy souls. 

But if someone who thinks I am their a-muse, and they hate me, and instead of making fun of me, they conspire to make my pretty awesome life miserable, then.............. I usually don't do much! I just get back, make them my A-muse and make fun of them! :D 

There is no greater satisfaction in laughing over how certain people all of a sudden start appearing like objects. Objects you could, kick, throw, and play with! :D

My poetic side hardly comes out, at such times, when I see these A-muses. They make me wanna introduce Baseball in India. Seriously! Where the hell do we get those bats! No, don't suggest hockey sticks. They might just break! 

I was almost thinking of making a separate tag for my A-muse, but does she deserve so much importance? Well, she does. She has changed my life so drastically, that she does need at least a tag, if not a big blow! I can give her that! She'd have place at least somewhere!

***

Well, I am not really that person, you know! I just rant at times, and I find that I am better off paying attention to my muses than trying to accommodate poor A-muse somewhere. It's true that, that object has occupied a huge space in my head, and needs to find a drain out.
This is it, I feel. I put that b*a** out of my mind, and into this post. She has been awfully amusing, and I hope she makes way for my creatives juices, so that I fall deeper and deeper in love with my muses.

And of course whenever I need Amusement, I know I always have that one perfect A-muse! And I don't wanna ever lose her! Seriously! 

Love and Lust

This morning, was a pleasant one. I love Tuesdays  especially when someone pings you with something which makes you think. Think and then blog too! 

***
S: 'Just a thought, let me know what do you think?'

Me : 'What?'

S: 'Love is an adulterated version of lust'

*pause*

Me: 'Naah. I don't agree'
***

Well, I really don't. I think love and lust have no comparison. Lust has no elements of love, and love has no element of lust. They are mutually exclusive. I am no expert to comment about either topic, but obviously I have my opinions on this too. I was made to think about this topic and I guess, some point in time I may end up having a discussion about this with someone or the other. Else how would pleasant coffee-evenings or dinners, pass? 

Love, according to me, is a noun and a verb both. It is very important to feel it first and then enact it. Now what is the "feeling" love that we talk about. The prime example of the situation is the love of the Mother for the child. But I have spoken about this analogy a hundred times in my blog and I do not want to repeat that. Well, then lets talk in terms of the love between two people. So, if I love someone, I accept the other person as he/she is. I can only love when I can accept. So, the noun form of the verb according to me, gives you a feeling of peace within when you accept. I can be in love with someone and I may hate certain qualities of that person. But despite that, I take the person as they are, without wanting to change them.

I remember asking one of my friends who's married and is a full time mom. I asked her, what is that happens after marriage. You were so happy right after your marriage, both of you, inseparable, crazy and clinging on to each other all the time?

Now why are things so different after 7 years of marriage. The explanation that she gave really made a lot of sense to me. 

She said, initially, it's always the exploring part in a relationship. Not just marriage, but any relationship. You spend around a year or two knowing each other. You get to know this new person, you concentrate on all the good points and you feel so great about how the other person appreciates you and how you appreciate the other person. 

But after 2 years, when you are done appreciating, you realize that the other person has a lot of negatives too. We all do! no one's perfect!

So the first two years, you spend in knowing the person, and the rest of the life, you spend in trying to change them. 

Well, to me it sounded like a perfect explanation. That's why marriages or affairs or relationships become drab after a while. And that's why some of them fail. You stop appreciating and you start trying to change things, so that they mould as per your convenience. But is that fair? 

Wouldn't it be better, if the couples accepted each other the way they were. Now, a few of my girl friends would say, 'he smokes. How am I wrong if I ask him to quit smoking'.

I feel, anyone who smokes, has taken that decision for himself and that is very personal decision. No smoker smokes without knowing the repercussions of smoking. That's just one  example. You want the best for your partner and in the process you end up demanding a change and the other person may not be ready for it. Manipulation degrades a relationship.

So, convenience takes over and then there is no love. If it were love, you would take the other person as he/she is, without expecting them to change for you. Acceptance is love and love is acceptance.

Now, coming to the verb part of Love. It involves a variety of things, the foremost being "Giving". You give, when you love and when you give, you know that you may get nothing in
return. That makes it unconditional. So the act of loving begins with giving. So that eases out the explanation of love, I wonder how many would agree. But this is my basic understanding, as far as I have understood, lived and loved. 

Expressions of love are various. If you are in love, you would know, personally, which medium is the best for you. Some chose silence, some people send messages, some kiss, hug, some make love and express it. But in the whole process, you give. That's the beauty of love.

Now coming to lust. Lust is a very pure and selfish feeling. I have always believed that all evil feelings are absolutely pure. You think about yourself alone, when you "lust'. Lust in itself has no adulteration, I feel.

Lust is sheer attraction pushing you to do the extremes. 

The chances that it will have an element of love is very rare. It begins with attraction and ends with sex, most of the cases, if it is mutual. Else, you have these crimes, all result of lust. 

It may trigger love in some cases. I have seen movies and series, in which this concept was used. The couple begin their relationship with lust, but end up falling in love with each other. 

Lust can be a trigger for love, but definitely it is not Love in any form, when you talk about it as s single factor.

Again most of the times, when two people 'lust' each other, they misconstrue it as love. There is no sense of responsibility, no acceptance, no giving, no surrender, there is sheer physical intimacy. They go public and call it a relationship, so that society accepts them. That's when the problem begins, and things begin to fall apart when the "think" they are in "love". Whereas, it's just physical compatibility and nothing else.

So, I feel, the very statement, that 'Love is an adulterated version of Lust', may perhaps be false, in itself, but when people portray Lust as Love, you cannot help but make that statement.

The statement, sadly in itself holds true, only apparently, but technically, it is impossible to call Love as an adulteration of Lust.

There are so many other aspects to this topic, and this one post is not going to suffice. Perhaps, if I have few versions,  few more opinions, I can make a series of the topic and publish different views. 

Meanwhile! I'll just end the post here. Hope I made my point. :)

***

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PPS: comments for the posts have been disabled.. :) you can write to me though, as mentioned above :P

BLF2 - Experiences 1

There are some things that you look forward to , desperately, and when it arrives you experience a marijuana-kinda high. You feel that you are lost in a  different world altogether. There are no prejudices, no judgments and you are all by yourself  living the quintessential part of your dream, where you think that you are a perpetual part of a literary club and you spend your life interacting with the laureates. 

Well, that's how it was for me, for the past three days at the Bangalore Literature Fest. The second edition of this fest was on a much larger scale and it gave me a chance to participate as a volunteer and give back to the community who has given us such beautiful pieces of literature. I thought it would be my way of expressing my gratitude to all the authors and laureates who come up with these amazing pieces of literature which keep avid readers like me entertained.

The thirst for knowledge is unending. Sometimes I feel I could read all my life. I could go on reading and reading and reading, and there are times, when I wish there were more than 24 hours in a day. Some days, I pray I was a zombie, so that I don't experience human conditions like fatigue etc. That's the kinda high reading gives. And BLF was the perfect place to be for enthusiasts like me! (Kinda rhymed, didn't it?)

BLF was nothing less than a celebration. I don't know where to begin. I don't think I can write a big post here. Or I might just end up writing one. I have no clue. I want to write because I don't want to forget things, but I am still existing, not in the present, but in the past, and it's difficult to pull myself from those beautiful moments back into reality. I am somewhere loitering in the limbo, enjoying those moments, feeling the kick and basking in the warmth of the sunshine in the beautiful green lawns.

But, it had to end some day. All good things come to an end. And only when things end, I get a chance to rant about it. So, let me start how the volunteering deal all began. 

BLF-1 was a very unique experience. That was the time when I was reading the Shiva Trilogy and Amish's session was like an icing on the cake. Hearing the man himself speak about the last book of the trilogy glued me to the fest even more. After the three day of soul-satisfying rendezvous with all awesome people, I decided that I would be a part of the fest the next time. Hanging around in Bangalore kinda paid off, and when I saw the  updates about BLF-2, I wrote to these wonderful guys and they had me on board in the volunteering team. 

Slogging has never been so much fun. After the initial meeting at the venue on Saturday before the event, I was a little skeptical about how we would all gel together. 30-40 of us were total strangers. A few of them knew each other, but I knew none of them. I wondered, how would we work as a team and pull this off. I always live in doubt, and then find myself creeping out of the obscurity with a convincing alibi. So, obscurely optimist about the whole deal, I plunged into it, without thinking much. 

That's one decision I would never regret in life. Not only did I make some lovely friends, but also found reading enthusiasts with whom I could talk about the topics I loved. The volunteering team had a majority of members from the Symbi Coll of Mass Comm and they were this exuberant lot, who reminded me of my college days, when we slogged for hours and days and weeks to make a fest successful. Working with them was like going back to college. I learnt so many things from them. Apart from the students, there were veterans who knew how to deal with the mood swings of the  celebrities, how to fetch things for them, and how to deal with crisis. Not that I didn't know any of it, but this was a totally different platform and I always try and learn!

The event was taken care of by the Redbox event management firm and they did a fantastic job! Here are some pictures! 

I'll write about the specifics in coming posts, because there is so much to write, but words just don't seem to gather for a write up  Yep! I am still in the past! I know.. I should be moving on, but like a love you lose, you expect to hang in there and expect it to turn back, and it takes a while to move on, this is just like that.. :)

I had few very personal, beautiful experiences during the fest.

I am this dreamy writer. I have fictions going on in my mind all the time. There was a time when all the fictions would come on the blog and I would effortlessly bring life to the characters. But now a days, they just exist inside my head and talk to each other. I would want to bring them to life someday, but I don't know, if it's denial, or laziness or sheer lack of motivation that I do not do the essential thing. 

Basking in the glory of fictions that always go in my head, I took the characters with me to the BLF. I never thought I would have a face for my characters. But my protagonist, just walked my way. I saw her, and I thought 'isn't she someone I was always wanting to write about?'. All my poetry, stories found a muse. I fell in love with her instantly. The  vibrancy was so forthcoming, that I couldn't help but start writing all over again. 

It'll take a while to get the stories going, also I don't know if i wanna publish any of those, but this experience matches only one experience that I had before. I could feel a sense of deja vu and I realized  if I let go this opportunity of writing my thoughts down, then it would never ever happen. I don't know if she knows what a difference she has made to my life! But she has! :) (If you are reading, lady!)

***

Since I was volunteering, I did not get a chance to attend the sessions. I happened to hold a few moments steady and sit for a session with Gulzaar Saab and Prasoon Joshi. There aren't many things that move me. But these few lines here, did that. I was in tears, inconsolable. Like he just spoke what was in my mind. Only that, it wasn't me! 



Lamhe

Main aksar pilpile lamhe utha kar dekhta rehta hu 
ungli se daba kar
hawa ke bulbulo jaise hi lagte hai
har ek lamhe me koi ek dhadakta waqt rakha hai
pichak jaaye koi toh jaane kya nikle?

ya ho sakta hai  tanhai ka virana nikal aaye
ya balkhata bagula koi bhanwrata hua nikale 
uda de aur fir paanv na padne de zameen par

samandar phoot ke nikle kisi lamhe se shayad
aur aankh bhar jaaye

bade zarkhez hote hai ye lamhe
kai toh haamla hote hai unse aur lamhe janm lete hai
magar kuch baanjh bhi hote hai sukhe ber ki gutli ke jaise
wo pichakte hai na kat te hai 
wo pichakte hai na kat te hai

***

More in next post~

...to be contd..