On Women's Day, lets thank the Men!

For once, let's forget about all misinterpretations that we hold about feminism and think of all the men who have empowered us to be whoever we are.

Let's thank the men, who have been perfectly alright with our innate ability to express and argue.
Who have encouraged us to voice our opinions and have a say in all matters.

Pic Courtesy : Huffington Post

To the fathers, who never shut down their daughters because they were too "bold" for the society. To the fathers, who did not mind their daughters slipping into shorts and flip flops while going out for a movie. To the fathers who argued that the daughters needn't learn the kitchen chores alone and needed to do whatever the boys did. To the fathers, who did not differentiate between their sons and daughters and played football with them equally, without judging who hit the ball harder.
To the fathers who set an example of how a wife is treated, and made the daughter realize that she shouldn't be settling for anyone less. To the fathers who, proudly let the daughters pursue careers in the Defense, where women recruitment is not common. To the fathers who shared all responsibilities with their wives proving that in a relationship there are no written rules~everything has to be equal. To the fathers, who openly spoke of sex, drugs, politics without creating biases about subjects one could talk with their daughters. To the fathers, who made sure no one blamed women drivers again!

Let's thank the men, the husbands, who have selected a woman for a wife and not a maid. The husbands, who are proud to flaunt their wives in their social circles, because she is a one of the prime contributors to the life they both have decided to create. To the husbands, who share all responsibilities, monetary and household, parents' and children, friends and family and create a balance. To the husbands, who are not ashamed of their wives earning more. To the husbands, who encourage their wives to take up promotions, if offered, without pulling her down, demanding family responsibilities. To the husbands, who love their wives, not own them, but have set them free, to make choices, that would best benefit the relationship. To the husbands, who stand up for their rights too, and do not allow "Feminazis" to get the better of them, proving that equality for all should be the crux of all ideologies. Let's thank the husbands who do not force their wives for anything - even sex! To the husbands who respect their wives and command respect in return. (Respect is not demanded, it is commanded!)

Pic Courtesy : Google Images

Let's thank the brothers who not only protect their sisters, but also teach them how to stand up for themselves. To the brothers who fight and argue, but at the end of the day love their sisters unconditionally. To the brothers who do not dictate their sisters what to wear and what not to, because they know everyone has a right to express. To the brothers who believe girls can do a Chokeslam to the cue if taught well. To the brothers, who wish for their sisters to have boyfriends and husbands like them, because they care so much for her. To the brothers who know, and acknowledge, that women can indeed hit harder - and it pains!

Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Let's thank the boyfriends, who believe in honesty while dating, or building up a relationship. To the boyfriends who empower their girl friends emotionally as well as mentally to be who they are. To the boyfriends who put time and efforts into a relationship, not to have fun, but to build a foundation for what in future could turn into a beautiful bond. To the boyfriends who do not misuse the liberties given to them. To the boyfriends who are faithful, who are practical and who do not tolerate misuse of women power to be dragged into abuse either ways. To the boyfriends who respect a girl's privacy, her right to talk to other friends, boys and girls and her independence. To the boyfriends who allow and expect women to pay on a date. To the boyfriends who understand that dating a strong woman is a very empowering thing to do. To the boyfriends, who are not afraid of living or being associated with a woman who has her own identity.

Pic Courtesy : Google Images

Let's thank the sons, who believe and accept that the major part of their lives was shaped by their mother, who is an epitome of love, sacrifice and patience. To all the sons who feel proud of their mothers despite their educational status, background and knowledge of a certain language.  To the sons who do not give up on their mothers because life takes a different turn. To the sons who protect, serve and give back to their mothers what she gave them all through their lives.
To the sons, who understand and accept the disabilities and challenges that may pose and support the parents in times of ill health. To the sons who make their mothers feel proud for having borne a son who respects women, and is an example for all the men out there.

Let's thank the men, who do not drool over a cleavage when a girl wears a low neck top. To all the men who do not judge women who drink, smoke or wear skimpy clothes. Also the men, who do not judge women, who have undone brows, sad dressing sense, and a bad figure. To the men who believe that women are human beings too, they are an individual who have the right to make a choice, express and be the way they want to. To the men who do not treat women as objects. To the men who let women open the door, pull their own chairs. To the men who are proud of a woman leader, who do not call women bossy and are not demeaned by women taking over certain professions. To the men who are men, but respect women because of their inherent beauty but do not wish or desire to possess it. To the men who are free and who set women free!

This could as well have been a Men's day post. Why am I writing about Men, here, when there are so many pertinent Women issues out there? Also, when today, it's Women's Day?

Certain societies have percolated different ideas about how a man or a woman should be, and that is something that needs to fade away with the increasing literacy (and wisdom).  Men have been overpowering, commanding, exploiting women since centuries. But now the times have changed. Women don't need to prove or fight with anyone to be who they are. They are already powerful. Women could not be who they are because of suppression from the society and it's ideologies about men being the dominant sex.

That's exactly why, we need(ed) a Women's Day to highlight what issues persisted and how things have now become better in some parts of the world, where still some parts are dealing with issues like Female Genital Mutilation. The idea of what a women should be or do, is still dictated by men in certain societies. Just because women have privileges in certain part of the world, doesn't mean we can turn a blind eye towards where women are suffering to an extreme extent.

Men in many parts of the world, live under the idea of being the "boss", having the power of exploiting women, they need to know, that, that's not how it works. While things have changed now, it is very important to have a revision about basic human rights and both the genders existing peacefully without overpowering the other.

The men who do all of the above as a father, husband, BF or a son - congratulations, you are a feminist, already, if you have not understood what it means, yet!

Women who are lucky to have these men, you don't need a women's day, every day is a women's day for you.

Being a woman is a blessing. The strength, the grit is unmatched! Kudos, fellow Women for finding yourselves and being who you truly are. Happy Women's day!

And Dear Gentlemen - Thank you!

For most of us, every day is a celebration, because of individuals like you!

Back with a Doodle!

Art Courtesy : Diba Raza

When nothing else was inspiring enough, this doodle did what, pain and joy couldn't do - it made me write again! There are so many issues going around,  that I did feel the need to express but was too lazy to pen it down and put it on the blog. But things have to be said, if you feel so strongly! And hence, I am back. Like always, there is a comeback and then a long hiatus. But, microblogging can be easily converted to a full fledged blog post, and that doesn't require efforts. I guess!

So, I was wondering....
about Gurmehar
about Hate Crimes going on in Trumpland
about the abysmal performance of the Indian cricket team against Australia
about Single Parenthood! (Congratulations to Karan Johar on becoming a father to a wonderful pair of twins)
about Surrogacy being illegal
about how Earth is breathing at a higher frequency proving that human consciousness is evolving
about AIB's video on Women's besties and on air with AIB's comeback!
about Ayesha Takia's Botox! (Yes, I have an opinion on this as well!)
about not being able to spot all 32 states on the map of India! (and the plight of fellow Indians)!
...
and the list is really really long!
I wonder if I have so much to talk about, why don't I?

Courtesy: Google Images

What's keeping me soooo busy? -->

It's time to get back to interests - my own!
Hence the comeback! yet again!


***


PS: What do you think of the blog header and the awesome doodle? 

The sky and a song!

Pic: ObscureOptimist

While i was passing through Queens, i captured this beautiful sky. 

A tumultuous parody which the sky was singing, while the clouds were dissolving in the hues of dullness.
I could only think of this one song that slowly grew onto me, after being asked a number of times to pay heed to. 

There are many moments when the background score of my life (in my mind) is this track.. Chasing cars.. By snow patrol... 

And while i saw fast moving cars chasing each other, while skies played mischief, i asked a perpetual question... Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Then it rained... for a long long time!

Sigh, my eternal love affair with rains!

How Dog's pee saved me a meal!

Pic Courtesy : thinkstock

Some things are so funny! Sadly funny. Sadly-punch-you-in-the-face-funny! You really can't do anything about it!

So, I am a Vegetarian who eats eggs, whatever you may want to call that! So when I go out for a dinner party with few other people who like to eat meat, red or plain, I usually think that I'll get to have what I desire in the vegetarian cuisine, because they  get to pick what they eat, without my interference!

So this is what happened, once upon a time!

After debating over potential restaurants which serve good Veg and Non-Veg food, I went to this swanky place with a few other people (those who shall not be named!). It had a low lit ambiance, quite to my liking and it smelled lovely in there. I was so attracted by a steaming plate of vegetables that the waiter passed by me with, to another table, that I mentally decided what I would be ordering!

Being the only vegetarian, I boldly called for my order, trying to customize it as per my liking. I called for  Sauted vegetables tossed with garlic in soy sauce and honey. I love the taste, don't judge me! While I was indulging in what I'd call a gluttony-initiation, a strong opposition came in!

"Vegetables?? Are you mad! Order, Paneer no!", one of them said.

"I don't like Paneer so much", I replied.

"Don't worry, main kha lunga! Aur mere liye ek Chicken Lollipop kar dena bhaiyya", he added.

"Ok, then one paneer tikka with Sauted vegetables", I said.

"Arre? Tu akeli hai, kitna Veg order karegi? Itna hoga kya khana?", he asked.

"Tu Paneer khayega, toh main kya khaungi?", I asked.

"Pura thodi na khaunga re pagli!", he replied.

I thought, perhaps it is a good idea to order just one vegetarian dish, instead of ordering two. I always make sure that I never waste food. So I ordered the Paneer tikka in yellow coating with green chutney! I kinda convinced myself, that paneer ain't that bad, after all! I was also hoping I'd get 80% of the share, because - Hanger(Hunger+Anger) makes you do silly things and how much paneer would a non-vegetarian eat?

The order started coming in slowly. As usual, the Vegetarian Starter came in first. Everyone on the table, 8 of them, asked the waiter to serve it to them. There are just 8 pieces of Paneer in Paneer Tikka. And the guy who loved Paneer got one extra. For an appetite of an elephant, I was starving and I got served with just one piece of the starter! And all the self proclaimed non-vegetarians were hogging on the only little food that had come my way!

"Hey guys, I'll order one more, you'll eat?", I asked trying to curb my anger.

"Nai nai. We are Non Veg. Chicken aayega na. You order, you order!", they said.

"Toh bhaiyya, ek Mushroom ka starter kar do koi bhi. Bohot Bhook lagi hai!", I did not even look at the menu.

"Mushroom? You are a vegetarian no? Why eat Mushroom?", one of them said.

"See, I am a different kind of a vegetarian! I love Mushrooms and Eggs and I don't want to classify this food or me as anything, at the moment. So call  me anything you want!" I said, frustrated.

"So call yourself a non vegetarian then, why have fancy name tags for yourself!", one argued.

A good debate is possible only when one is fed full. I wasn't, so i ignored with a cursory smile.

The chicken starters started to come in and they all looked jubilant. I ignored their faces as I traced the waiter who took my order. I hoped for him to come back soon with the order. I was sure, I could eat more, considering I'd get just one more piece of Mushroom.

"So, main course?", I asked.

"Nai, we have ordered enough starters. Hum log nai khaenge", they all said. 

7 vs 1! I couldn't have argued. They don't serve small portions for a single vegetarian eater! What a shame!

I feel sometimes it's better to go out for dinner with people who know you best (read - who let you eat your food and who eat theirs!), and not with people who call them selves "Pure Non-vegetarians" and eat Vegetarian! It was not a very good feeling. After waiting for an eternity, my order finally came in! The waiter asked the others if they wanted Mushrooms, and they all nodded!

I couldn't take it anymore.

"You know Mushrooms are made from Dog pee", I declared, before the waiter could move the serving spoon!

"What? Are you serious?", they all asked in unison.

"No yaa, those are different mushrooms!", one said.

"Ewks, I can't eat it anymore, it's so disgusting that you said it out loud", the other said.

Good I thought. The others got busy on google, trying to find out the history of mushrooms. The waiter came my way and kept the entire plate in front of me. I ate to my hearts content, ignoring the discussions they were having. 

Finally one of them said, "You are worst than us. We are non-vegetarians. You are a dog-pee-eterian".

I smiled a happy smile - the one which comes when your stomach is full. I nodded gulping down a satisfying glass of water.

"Yes, I love dogs!! Their pee too!!", I said.

And there was no hypocrisy in that! Finally a dog-fact saved this vegetarian a meal!

Also, No! The edible mushrooms have nothing to do with dog pee. This is jan hit me jaari! ;)

You, October!

Copyright: ObscureOptimist

October, you make departures beautiful! 

I have let you gone, darling
Like the leaves
That give up on life
And fall from the trees... The autumn colors the earth yellow
In celebration.. I have heard laughters
echoing from the empty spaces
of my heart
that once used to
house the debris
of our love.
I have let gone the hopes
of the purple pain
that were once kisses - Pink, sometimes red!

I lie down spreading my arms, like the earth
waiting to collect
it's own broken pieces,
floating in the universe ,
slowly falling down
as twigs or stars!
covered with dust
that rested, while
our love was alive!
Now Autumn, is just
a sign that tells me
That I have to go back
to where I came from!

October, you make departures so beautiful!

The Orion waits for you to come,
when it can shower it's orionids
on people like me
and wake us up
from the slumber of
dejection
and show us
what the universe is capable of!

So, like a romantic nomad,
with no home to stay
who leaps from heart to heart
Silently hopes!
That
Somewhere far,
Where the sky meets the Earth
I get to feel love and pain!
All over again!

October, you make departures so beautiful!

Who's M, Who's S?

Pic Courtesy: Diba Raza

M,

Liberation time!

Xoxo, S

***

This -on the coffee table; I sip my coffee conjecturing!

Who’s M? Who’s  S? Liberation?

M -master, S -slave, spiritual liberation?

M for mom, S for son – suicide?

M for Michelle, S for Shaun, breakup?

M is my name too!

Déjà vu!

I crumple into nothing, as the past hits me.

Go With the Flow

PC: Google Images

We all, at some point or the other, have brooded over or contemplated about our relationships. A lot has been spoken about domestic abuse. But the most important aspect of any relationship is the emotional aspect, which we often put up with, wondering or hoping that it will get better. This is most ignored and knowingly or unknowingly we become victims of emotional abuse, leading to stress, depression and other mental illnesses. This applies to the men too, who have wives or partners who constantly pull them down.

Believe me, emotional abuse is worse than anything else, gender irrespective. It works it's way inside out.

If you have been hurt over and over by a certain habit or tendency of the other person, say lies, cheating, anger, manipulative nature, or any such behavior, and you feel that you have endured enough, you must break the cycle of pain and suffering. This never means that you end the relationship, or get a divorce, or stop loving. This means, you owe yourself peace of mind, happiness and a life free of stress and anxiety, and you should give yourself all of this. There are other commitments which are already taking a toll and an abusive relationship should be the first thing you should get rid of.

A very useful advice that I came across in the form of a letter is this:

I have been thinking of writing to you on many occasions good and bad. Recently, the whole issue about xyz has been bothering me. I know and i can assume what you would say and make me believe, but for once lets talk about you.

So now, you have basically ruined almost  decade either loving, wanting to love, or waiting for love. So i think we can give this a rest. You have a new (hopefully very good and promising) life in store already. Go with the flow, don't overthink, overdo and over indulge. Stop being reckless, you have a long way to go. Love in your life will keep coming and going, and maybe it'll stay; but your life can't revolve around or stop at a totally messed up relationship.

It may not be applicable for each and every individual, because situations are different. But there is a lot to take from this piece of advice. I took it too! 

There is always an unknown that is waiting to be sought. It is very exciting and the chances for new discoveries are immense. We do not give ourselves enough credit or we do not have enough self belief to embark upon a new journey altogether. We stay stuck in the comfort zone of pain, and suffering and we cannot imagine a world which could be free of all this. Remember, you cannot get rid of people, but you can get rid of the negativity. Sometimes people too!

Find help, don't stay when you know it's time to go, don't put up with something that is making you lose your essence, your sanity, your identity. You were meant to shine, and you should, by all means! 

... Go with the flow! Don't Resist!

***

Part 2: in next week's Thoughtful Thursday : How to break the Emotional Abuse Loop!

Fate and Love!

I sat in the corner of my room, in the dark, so that fate won't find and hit me hard. Karma, they say! What did i ever do to deserve this, i thought. 

But that wasn't really the question, i should have been asking. All efforts futile, all escapes meaningless! How can one hit a dead end and keep moving? 

I hid from everything, everyone.. I hid from people who thought they were helping me. 

I escaped my own existence and flew to distant lands of illusions

Where sinking in dungeons was as dangerous as flying high. 

One day, i was pulled out.. by a tiny ray of light, that kept knocking on one of the doors in my mind.. It said,  Love is pretty easy to find

You may look down, look above 

You can be troubled by fate

But you'll be saved by love!

Re-Genesis!

© yamini

I have not blogged, or written in the longest time, and people have been asking me why so? I never took writing seriously, but this is an exercise to the mind, if not anything else. A very healthy outlet, which eases me out of a lot of tension.

So, to all those who come here and return back, without seeing any updates, here I am, back again, with another sprint! I want to say, that I will be regular henceforth, but writer's block is like pee; if you drink too much, you have to go.
I do not promise to be here forever, I do want to start writing regularly again. And the agenda, like always is as follows:

Monday Musings - for the love of poetry, and ramblings in rhythm.

Tangy Tuesdays - Gossips, Bashing, Opinions and All sorts of masala that, I otherwise do not write on social media.

Wordless Wednesdays - for the love of photography, when pictures speak more than words

Thoughtful Thursdays - When delving on important issues of life, often leads to sensible/senseless rantings.

Fictional Fridays - attempt to revive to the old art of story telling, through short or serial fictions

Silent Saturdays - Who blogs on a weekend? huh?

Surreal Sundays - because sometimes, you write so much, that you never wanna stop, and Silent Saturdays, bother the bejesus out of you! So you write, on a Sunday too!

Also, bringing back the tradition of Aisa Bhi hota hai, guests and impromptu posts, I hope to keep this space alive, until it slowly slips into another slumber!

Ready? Let's begin then! ;)

Re-Genesis!

© yamini

I have not blogged, or written in the longest time, and people have been asking me why so? I never took writing seriously, but this is an exercise to the mind, if not anything else. A very healthy outlet, which eases me out of a lot of tension.

So, to all those who come here and return back, without seeing any updates, here I am, back again, with another sprint! I want to say, that I will be regular henceforth, but writer's block is like pee; if you drink too much, you have to go.
I do not promise to be here forever, I do want to start writing regularly again. And the agenda, like always is as follows:

Monday Musings - for the love of poetry, and ramblings in rhythm.

Tangy Tuesdays - Gossips, Bashing, Opinions and All sorts of masala that, I otherwise do not write on social media.

Wordless Wednesdays - for the love of photography, when pictures speak more than words

Thoughtful Thursdays - When delving on important issues of life, often leads to sensible/senseless rantings.

Fictional Fridays - attempt to revive the old art of story telling, through short or serial fictions

Silent Saturdays - Who blogs on a weekend? huh?

Surreal Sundays - because sometimes, you write so much, that you never wanna stop, and Silent Saturdays, bother the bejesus out of you! So you write, on a Sunday too!

Also, bringing back the tradition of Aisa Bhi hota hai, guests and impromptu posts, I hope to keep this space alive, until it slowly slips into another slumber!

Ready? Let's begin then! ;)

Re Sultan

I am a hardcore Salman Khan Fan and trust me, not many people know this. I am scared of being tagged as someone who is stupid enough to like someone like Salman who is a criminal and makes rude remarks against women and so many other things. I was contemplating on watching Sultan for a very long time, fact being, I was very excited about this movie. And then the whole "rape" remark agitated many groups of the society. I call myself a feminist and I wasn't sure if I should watch this movie given that the remark that Salman made was very offensive. I hadn't read much about the whole story, it was just what the social media was feeding me.

I must admit, I watched the movie anyway and I am daring to publicly state my opinion on how I liked the movie and what I felt about the remark.

The movie has already done a multi crore business and I understand why this is so. Me liking it or not liking it won't do any good, or add to the profits. This is just a third angle to the entire rave that has been going on. With most people boycotting this movie and another upcoming movie on similar lines, I was pretty intrigued,

Salman has again pulled a great performance in this movie. The subject is equally important. The actors will get money, appreciation and few awards and this movie, like any other movie (Chak De, Mary Kom) will be forgotten, and the lesser known sports will always continue to exist under the shadow of Cricket. 

There are numerous, very famous Indian sportsmen and women who are gathering accolades for India in so many other sports apart from Cricket and we are not aware of it. I do not blame it on media. I blame it on the audiences, the public who hold the power of making anything huge. This movie is already a superhit. Let's ask ourselves, what will wrestling as a sport be in a few years? Will it be as famous as the movie? Will the wrestlers in India, after winning medals, be as rich as the actors now are after starring in a movie about wrestling? No!

Thanks to the film fraternity who have been responsible enough to showcase the missing gaps in the society and portraying it through films. Films like Sultan are not supposed to be for sheer entertainment. They are supposed to highlight the state of the society and reach out to the masses. Sultan has done exactly that.

I have immense respect for Salman Khan. Accepting the fact, that in most of the scenes, they would have used a body double, but the efforts put in physically and emotionally in such a movie is intensely tremendous. For Salman, at the age of 50, even more so. Can any 30 year old challenge his fitness? I guess no! And that's why I am a huge fan of this guy.

Secondly, this is the comment that he made that was really derogatory:  "When I used to walk out of the ring, after the shoot, I used to feel like a raped woman. I couldn't walk straight." 

Before I write anything about this, anyone who has ever abused using pleasantries like "M*d*rch*d, Bh*nch*d, Chutiya", and condemned Salman for being so insensitive, stop reading right here and go wash your hypocrite face and think about what you want in life!

May be wrestling, to someone who is new, is very agonizing. May be it feels like you have been ripped off your modesty and you are naked in public, especially when are you being beaten left and right. Many times, people have called "College Viva" as being raped by the professor and they are exactly the ones who are taking offences to the statement that Salman made. To all those who casually use abuses, to the feminists who proudly use words such as Chutiya and the likes, you have no right to take offences.

Salman is not made to be politically correct all the time. All of us make derogatory remarks in one way or the other. It's just that, we are not famous, we are not quoted, and there is sadly no big deal coming out of it. So you know, it remains within four walls or between the silences of bubbling drinks or insane laughters or on whatsapp pings.

I don't have problems with expressions. I have problems with hypocrisy. The social media is so powerful that it can make or mar a certain thing entirely. This movie, and another movie- Dangal starring Aamir Khan is already under the scrutiny of people who are ready with pens to attack the movie industry for starring these actors in movies on prevalent topics that need national attention. As responsible as these stars should be, so should the public. 

I wonder despite all the offences that people take, why do such movies end up becoming super duper hits with immense money flowing into the producers account? We write, and we go and watch. My problem is not "Opinion", my problem is "hypocrisy", and I am so done with this.

Sultan was one of the best movies of the year, with outstanding performances from Salman, Anushka, and Randeep Hooda. I am eagerly looking forward to Dangal too. And I will wait and watch how the elements twist and turn the situation and come up with useless stories to stir the public mentality! 

And wait for these not-so-famous sports to become atleast 10% as acceptable and famous as Cricket, knowing that the person inside the ring won't be Salman Khan or any other movie star!