Jouska

Picture Courtesy: Diba

I have left you behind. A long time ago,  darling. I have moved on. I wish i could be as detached the stars are, to the moon. But everything is connected. So so deeply,  that try as you may,  you will always find alibis to the attachments you end up with. I can't speak to you. But I do, anyway. In my head. I wish you could hear me.

I always used to carry a camera with me, along with my quintessential tobacco kit. And sometimes a bottle of liqueur.I could've been a chef. Or a bartender, you know. Or a photographer,  instead. But i was a quitter. I quit. I should've hung around longer. Shown you the doors that held most amazing secrets of life. Held your hand,  and traversed the paths leading to wonderful revelations and treasures. But I gave up too soon.

When you look at the beauty around,  what do you miss the most? Do you ever miss me? I see, you have embraced solitude, like a bee hovers over a flower merrily. You don't seem to be bothered by it. You have come to love the void i left. Or did i?

Would it make a difference, if i came back?  Or are you so comfortable that there is no place for me in your life anymore. I don't think I can...

But, if i had a chance, would you let me?

I live with a lot of things. Pain, yearning, wait, regret... And .... Jouska.

And so i write. Like you,  my love.

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Jouska : A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play in your head.