I see how people are stuck and refuse to move on.
Let's talk about relationships. Some work, some don't. It is not necessary that you keep finding reasons to stay when it is obvious that you should leave.
I read a blog about a girl who talked about her relationship with her ex-boyfriend who used to abuse her physically.
When there is so much trouble and pain, how can one not see a reason to let go that person.
If I empathize, I would try to stick to the relationship only with a hope that he becomes a better person someday, and stops physically abusing me.
On hindsight, I think, if anyone disrespects you, for any thing,any reason, doesn't deserve an iota of love or respect in return. So I would have more reasons to dump him than stay with him.
Why do wives, whose husbands abuse them, still stay? It is only because of the pressure of the society and future of their children. That's another topic altogether to talk about!
How would you see a situation where you can constantly observe your partner moving away from you, convincing you that things won't work, and still you keep clinging with a hope that someday it might!
Aren't you ruining the chances that life is giving you?
And after some time, you start blaming things on relationships or situtaions that did not work.
Don't the Dev D kinda guys say "Had she not come in my life, I would have been better off?"
"Had I not met her, I would have been a successful man, would have chased
my dreams and would have lived more sensibly?"
How many female Dev Ds don't cry thinking about their breakups, wondering "If only..."
I may sound crazy if I say "Move on", because I personally know how difficult it is to "Move on"
But what's the point in being Stuck?
Chetan Bhagat's new novel is a decent input for a bollywood movie, and it speaks about this very concept.
The protaganist is STUCK, he ruins his education and career, finally to make it big in vengeance.
We are not necessarily stuck only in Love. We are stuck in hate too. Hate is absence of love. And as long as you are looking for something you don't want to find, it stays absent in your life. And you are left with Hate!
Eventually a negative emotion ruins you!
Seeing someone you love, settle with someone else seems like a punch on the face, a kick on the balls and a dagger in your heart...
But how does one deal with it?
Stay Stuck, cry and make life miserable? Or simply explore the love within, which was always there, and try some other way to let it out?
I had never heard of a term called "Mutual breakup" until a few days ago!
Towards the end of the post, let me opine what I think of love.
Love is merely a feeling. You can never PROPOSE love, you can only EXPRESS it. You propose a relationship, or marriage!
If the proposal is let down, does it mean the love dies?
It doesn't. Love is always there, the proposal dies eventually!
So, for me, love is always stuck in my heart! I, personally, am stuck nowhere! That is what I would like to believe!
How difficult is it for you, not to stay STCUK?
Let's talk about relationships. Some work, some don't. It is not necessary that you keep finding reasons to stay when it is obvious that you should leave.
I read a blog about a girl who talked about her relationship with her ex-boyfriend who used to abuse her physically.
When there is so much trouble and pain, how can one not see a reason to let go that person.
If I empathize, I would try to stick to the relationship only with a hope that he becomes a better person someday, and stops physically abusing me.
On hindsight, I think, if anyone disrespects you, for any thing,any reason, doesn't deserve an iota of love or respect in return. So I would have more reasons to dump him than stay with him.
Why do wives, whose husbands abuse them, still stay? It is only because of the pressure of the society and future of their children. That's another topic altogether to talk about!
How would you see a situation where you can constantly observe your partner moving away from you, convincing you that things won't work, and still you keep clinging with a hope that someday it might!
Aren't you ruining the chances that life is giving you?
And after some time, you start blaming things on relationships or situtaions that did not work.
Don't the Dev D kinda guys say "Had she not come in my life, I would have been better off?"
"Had I not met her, I would have been a successful man, would have chased
my dreams and would have lived more sensibly?"
How many female Dev Ds don't cry thinking about their breakups, wondering "If only..."
I may sound crazy if I say "Move on", because I personally know how difficult it is to "Move on"
But what's the point in being Stuck?
Chetan Bhagat's new novel is a decent input for a bollywood movie, and it speaks about this very concept.
The protaganist is STUCK, he ruins his education and career, finally to make it big in vengeance.
We are not necessarily stuck only in Love. We are stuck in hate too. Hate is absence of love. And as long as you are looking for something you don't want to find, it stays absent in your life. And you are left with Hate!
Eventually a negative emotion ruins you!
Seeing someone you love, settle with someone else seems like a punch on the face, a kick on the balls and a dagger in your heart...
But how does one deal with it?
Stay Stuck, cry and make life miserable? Or simply explore the love within, which was always there, and try some other way to let it out?
I had never heard of a term called "Mutual breakup" until a few days ago!
Towards the end of the post, let me opine what I think of love.
Love is merely a feeling. You can never PROPOSE love, you can only EXPRESS it. You propose a relationship, or marriage!
If the proposal is let down, does it mean the love dies?
It doesn't. Love is always there, the proposal dies eventually!
So, for me, love is always stuck in my heart! I, personally, am stuck nowhere! That is what I would like to believe!
How difficult is it for you, not to stay STCUK?
It's a pity how an emotion as pure as love needs another person for its completion :) .. but that's how things are, and that's how things will be.
ReplyDelete@naween: Wow, very well said. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment!
Interesting post. Love was, is and always will be topic for great debate and discussion.
ReplyDeleteYou have touched on my aspects and i am resisting the temptation to turn this comment section into a post in itself ;) :D
I want to ask you this. If you could put it in a word or line. What kind of love relationship you spoke of in this post ?
what kinds of love relationships are there, arun..???
ReplyDeleteU can write all u want...
I'd be more than happy.
I read your post early in the morning...before starting my work day...and well..it gave me goosebumps!
ReplyDeleteVery very well written!
@Nidhi: Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteLets slice that in two and see.
ReplyDeleteLove and Relationship
Love is quit a vague word and quit loosely used now-a-days to express whensome feels some affection for the other.
There is,eg. Kama - sensual love, prem - romantic love, bhakti - devotional love, mamta - motherly love, Platonic love, Unconditional love, Passionate love.
Then there is love out of respect for that person.
Relationship - there is Monogamy · Non-monogamy, Open marriage, Polyamory, Polyfidelity, Polygamy
Concubinage, Mistress.
So you see, different scenarios has totally different reasons behind them.
Where you speaking in general or specifically?
@Arun: I was only talking about a relationship with a person with whom you have your feelings attached.. call it whatever you fancy!! :)
ReplyDeletethanks for this enlightening comment though! :)
"hmmmm.... Love is merely a feeling. You can never PROPOSE love, you can only EXPRESS it. You propose a relationship, or marriage"
ReplyDeleteInteresting!!!! :)