Day: Tuesday

Seems I am getting a hang of what they call a “laptop”. Raj, my son, gifted this and expected me to come up with a nice novel.
“Dad, wasn’t this one of the few things that you always wanted to do?”, he asked.
“Yeah, this was on my to-do list before I died”, I chuckled.
Alas, the death seems to be so near, and mind so in a quagmire, that any new idea cropping up in an 87 year old cerebrum seems a distant possibility. Nonetheless, this laptop deserves some attention too.
Its 9pm. Dinner’s done. I am waiting for the young chap and his girl to come to the park for a walk. They seem to love each other’s company. And I love to see them keep each other company.
They are late at times.
Seems, they must be working late. Or are have they gone for a movie tonight?
They never skip their after-meal walk!
Oh, there they come. They look good. Happy. The Boy’s looking extraordinarily fresh today. Did he skip work? He must have had a nice meal. Seems the lady cooked some nice stuff today.
As usual, they’ve taken their favorite place. I wish they sit, once at least, facing me. I would want them to know that they are a part of my night routine now.
I am glad the girl did not object the lighting of the cigarette, today. It made me happy.
“I need a fag too, dear boy” ;)
Happy smokin’ chap.
Time for me to wander in dreamland with my lady..
See you tomorrow.
Love,
Kher.

Contd..

Sid: Where is Ana?
God: Ana…?
Sid: God you know it, don’t you?
God: I think I do… but what makes you ask me about her?
Sid: I thought she died before I did, so I thought you’d know where she‘d be.
God: You thought she died? Hahahaha…
Sid: She’s still alive? Ohh.. I thought she must have disappeared with the fags.
God: Indeed, she did.. A while ago. It’s been 3 years.
Sid: Did she leave any message for me?
God: What’s the fun, chap? I’ve never had anybody ask anything like this.
Sid: Well, that was our deal. And… you don’t worry God, Just tell me did she leave any message.
God: No...
Sid: No?
God: So shall we proceed? We have formalities to do.
Sid: Sure, Seems only I was looking for her. She never did.
God: You are supposed to rest for a while before you begin your next life cycle.
Sid: As you say, God.
God: And would you like to have some company?
Sid: Company?
Ana: Hey Sid, What are you doing here? Seems they’ve put me in Rehab. There’s no- smoking Zone everywhere out here in Heaven. Good to see you anyway. God made me wait this long. He said it would be three years until I’d get to see you again. So I waited for you.
God: She’ll never give up talking, Sid. I leave you guys to enjoy the bliss and togetherness, something you couldn’t do down there.
Ana: Thank you, God. You were right. This was worth the wait. Don’t you think so Siddharth…. And you know what when I got married, I only feared that….
But soon it got better……………….. and yeah……………I re-read the novel you gifted me..……………… ………..

It was a beautiful monsoon evening. I had a deep urge of having a corn treat. But I had no company. I thought I better explore the familiar streets all alone. I always despised doing that, but the urge to relish a corn snack made me do the unreasonable.
As I approached the stall a strong aroma of butter and corn tempted me all the more. My weaknesses surfaced and I greedily ordered two sweet corns with butter.
A succession of thoughts engulfed me while I looked around and observed the vehicles pass by. Suddenly, I saw a familiar face. It was ‘X’. Almost all the girls I knew, in my high school, had a crush on him. Going by math, I’d say he had 9/10 female fan following from our batch. I was one of them too. Every time I saw him, I would be amazed at the way he walked; talked, dressed, smiled… everything he did seemed perfect. He would kill people with his eyes.
But that day, I realized a lot had changed. He looked weak; his eyes had lost the spark, his smile had lost the charm. He crouched while he walked. I assumed that he was suffering from a grave illness. Or was he studying too much that made him ruin his health? Or did he do something nefarious and doped himself to this state? Mind was framing irrational questions.
I was sure he wouldn’t recognize me. He didn’t. But I realized that the attraction factor had become zero. I did not find him a “crush material” anymore. I wondered how dynamic the emotions were.
I called up a common friend to enquire what was up with ‘X’ and that was when I came to know that he was in a rehab for almost 2 years. He was addicted to alcoholism. His charm had vanished, and had the attraction.
I had decided to explore a familiar street and indeed I came back home with an outcome. There are things beyond mere appearances and those things are very profound. The dynamics of emotions can put you in places where it is really difficult to accept certain things. The appearances will change with time. But acceptance to something more than appearance is foremost and that would keep a relationship going to the very end.
The first step would be accepting ourselves the way we are….
…..and learning to have fun all alone while relishing a sweet corn on a beautiful monsoon evening.

My favorite 7 Places on Earth.

1) Home : There is no place like home. Period.


2) St.Joseph’s Convent Girls High School, Nagpur:
I love every nook and corner of my school campus. From Prem nagar, to the girls toilet block, the auditorium, the classrooms, the place under the tamarind tree, the labs, the throw ball court, the assembly area, the school bell, the Chapel, and the staircase too.
There are so many memories that are very deeply engraved in my mind. The days that I have spent in school are so far the most amazing ones.


3) Reliance, Bavdhan, Pune :
This is one place where I would love to go back to for every birthday celebration and for no celebration as well. People talk about night life. We had a ball at this place. I still remember the intense discussions on life, career, and marriage. We have celebrated almost every birthday at this place. Cutting cakes, emptying beer cans and having fun like kids. This place was a hangout for us after a hearty dinner at our very own Spice and Ice (Bavdhan, Pune). The cool dudes would smoke out their frustrations and make the ladies glad by offering them peppermints. I can still recollect every tang of the food, and the peppermints. How we discussed about how our lives would be after a few years. The few years are over and lives are indeed different.
One very vivid memory at this place is the Dumb Charades game that we played. One of us was struggling enormously to mime out the movie “Desparado”. The links, the interpretations, the laughter on the stairs of Reliance, Bavdhan creates an unforgettable remembrance. This is one of my favorite places.


4) Vanaz, Kothrud, Pune:
The growing up part happened to me, here. Transformation from an enthusiastic girl to a responsible youth happened at this place. This place is an open land, more of a playground, with an open sky to look at. I somehow wonder that stars shine brighter there. It is nothing extraordinary, but it is beautiful. Perhaps, the companies I had made it beautiful.


5) Walkers’ Street, Civil lines Nagpur:
You find yourself amidst nature when you are on this piece of land. The trees are lush, green and welcoming. The chats, the workouts that I had here, with my friends are treasured.

6) SRCM Retreat Panshet, Pune:
It gave me whatever I wanted. I love this place.


7) Delhi:
Cousins, fun, food, hangouts, fun, cousins, fun….did I say Fun? Yeah… Fun J

The tagging business is fun. I thought I’d begin a trail. The lucky number for me this month is 7. So I have mentioned 7 of my favorite places and I am tagging 7 of my blog buds!!

Jincy (http://cordonedbyme.blogspot.com)
Abhishek (http://abhisheksmusings.blogspot.com)
Sudip (http://caughtoffside.blogspot.com)
Sanil (http://skhajone.blogspot.com)
Salil (http://theseekerlurks.blogspot.com)
Amrita (http://amsko.wordpress.com)
Malathi (http://justsurvivingontheedge.blogspot.com)

Today was a very very special morning. I had a few students less in my class. I wondered about my capability of keeping them glued through the entire session. The attendance was varying and that gave me a pessimistic idea about my teaching abilities. But things were totally different. The absent lot came to me after the class and gave me an invitation for a teachers’ day function. They said they were preparing things for us and that was the reason why they had to skip the class. They said they would happy if I came over for a small function that they had organized for the teachers.
I slipped into a deep introspection.
Am I really a teacher? Am I really good at what I am doing? Do I deserve all the appreciation and respect that the students are giving me. A knock on the door brought me back to reality.
C: Ma’am, Invitation.
Me: Thank you so much.
C: We have something special for you. You have helped us improve ourselves and we want to give you something in return.

I was speechless.

I had another class after my morning batch. The next class was the concluding one for that batch. They wanted an extension. They wanted some more time so that they could learn things beyond mere nuances of communication, body language etc.
I always look for a feedback. But when I am asked for an extension and when students tell me that they enjoy my sessions and that what I say helps them improve themselves, I feel probably THIS is what was meant to be.
And at times like these, there is a reaffirmation of my beliefs and I am able to rinse out my doubts.
I pray sincerely for all my teachers who helped me become what I am today. Hadn’t they made a difference in my life, I wouldn’t have been able to do it to my students.
Happy Teachers’ Day :)

"Beta..", he called out.

The voice seemed familiar. I turned a deaf ear. I thought that wasn't for me.

"Oh, Beta", he called out again.

I was on the road, with my friends, and a shabbily dressed man was calling out to me. I assumed that probably he was insane, and was begging for alms.

I wanted to turn back and have a look at him.

I turned back but did not hold my sight for long because I was scared of the embarrassment. I peeped into the crowd, but I couldn't make out whose voice it was.

The voice kept haunting me and I couldn't remember where I'd heard it before.

I tried to ignore the voice....but...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

20 years before

"You'll have so many friends there, and Soumya is coming too", said my mum.

"Will they give us chocolates?"

"Sure, they would"

"Bhaiyya, be careful and pick up the kids on time"

"Don't worry, Madam"

"Beta, Chalo..", he said.

"Rickshewale, jaldi lene aana"

"Haan, Beta"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I realized that the fellow who was calling out to me the other day was my old rickshaw puller - Shyamrao who used to take me to school.

I was amazed how he recognized me. I wouldn't have been able to point him out in the crowd. I couldn't.
I only wished if I could get to meet him one more time.
For a very long time, I used to perceive every other old, shabbily dressed man as Shyamrao. But I was not able locate him.

I was passing through a playground and I saw an old man lying on the pathway. I thought it would be him.
I approached the man and found that it was indeed him, lying, probably drunk. I called out to him.
“Rickshewale, kya hua?”

He was unable to breathe and I realized that probably he had an asthma attack. That was the reason why he had left riding rickshaw, i thought.

I knew I had to take him to the hospital. But there was reluctance.
“Chalo, Rickshewale”, I said and offered to take him to the hospital.
I dropped him at the ward where he was admitted and told him that I will be back in sometime.
“Beta, Jaldi lene aana”, he sounded insecure.
"Haan, Bhaiyya", I couldn't sound as comforting as he did when he used to say "Haan, Beta".

The theory of Karma seemed intriguing.
Finally i could retrace the voice and the subtle nuance of life.

I tried writing something for all my friends. Nothing worked out.
The first Friendship's day message was from Malathi and it was B.E.A.U tiful. I thought I would artistically thank her, but like i said, i couldn't compose anything :(
Thanks Maloo for the wonderful message...

I never usually take calls once I am asleep :P. But i like being disturbed by Varu. He made the eve really special. There are so many things which cannot be expressed in words, but all I want you to know is that your friendship is treasured. Thanks for being there, boy :)

Nandy has been around like forever, and she kept on wishing me a happy friendship's day all night. It kinda sounded childish, but it was OK, coz it was Nandy ;) Love ya baybeh!

There are some unspoken things which you know make a lot of sense. And I know someone who is really really good at this - Muggs. Thanks for being there always!

Now some one did not call me and he called EVERYONE else :(
But i know what i need to know :), and now CDMA you should know that I am lucky to have you as a friend and my aide in crime and fun ;)

Rajesh is someone who can make you feel on the top of the world when you are deep in dungeons. He has always been a morale booster, my optimism tonic. Thank you dear. :)

Jincy adds soul to anything everything... I am still looking forward to something she said she would put up on blog.. where is it, girl? And thanks for being there always!

Robo has been there virtually and actually too, always. The communication is disrupted at times because of many things, but the intermittent conversations act as fuel for many days. Lets keep the jugalbandi going so that the unexplored keeps revealing itself. (@Robo: if you know what i'm talking about). Happy Friendship's day.

Manji - I miss you :) Happy friendship's day :)

Happy friendship's day to all of you : Debo, Pri, Viv, Harshad, Ranu, Rudy, Damini, Tresa, Amit, Kaveri, Vishvam.

The entire CB2 gang is like a constellation. You stand individually and shine and together you shine even more. Thanks for everything :)

My lifeline need a special thanks too : Ami, Piya, Tulip, Adi, Gibi - Happy Friendship's day.

And cheers to our lovely friendship. Thank you, Sunny, Pawan :)

A sincere feeling persists..
I have already thanked all my friends..
But I need to thank the One who sent all these angels in my life..
Thank you God :)

Please help me find a new template for my blog… I find everything so uninspiring… :(

I had been thinking about a lot of things these days. I was going through Sanil’s blog and I realised that all the answers to my questions were written in form of sunny-ologies – his posts.
The last four months have been really eventful. I was jobless for a month until I found myself doing what I loved most – interacting with people, taking sessions. Things were going great.
The next month I lost my grandpa. You have a habit of looking at the same people always, and suddenly you realise that the person is not going to be there anymore and you curse life. Well, I did that, for a few days, until I was called for a youth convention to Pune. It was a therapy. I met new people, made some new friends and realised the real goal of human life.
The trip to Pune also meant hanging out with my favourite bunch of people in the world – my CB2 friends. We had late night hangouts, bakar sessions, dinners, everything that could make us happy.
I also went to Mumbai with a few of my buddies and we had fun like crazy.
One evening when we were discussing about life and relationships, on marine drive, I got a call from home and I was told to rush home immediately because my grandma was very serious. She had been sick for 10 days. I couldn’t leave the same day, so I left for home a day later. I rushed to the hospital and it was the scariest scene of my life. I have always been afraid of syringes, saline bottles, pricks, the pain, the tubes and everything. My grandma was on ventilator I was told that she did not have much time.
I tried to look at her with courage. She looked back and tried to say something. She couldn’t. She kept on looking at me until tears rolled down her eyes.
She passed away that afternoon.
There was another trough and it was hard to accept her departure. She had been around, like forever, and now she won’t be anymore.

Coming back to Sanil’s blog, the two posts that really answered my questions were From the other side and Summation.

They say when you are trying to find answers to certain questions, you have to seek with an earnest will, and your questions will be answered.

The Rise and the Fall, the Crest and Trough are all part of life and trust me life’s like that… :)

“I lostttttt itttttt”, he said.

“I hope its the right person”, she tried to reaffirm the statement.

“Well, there is nothing right and nothing wrong, you know”

“Yes I do. Especially when a great human like you is philosophising”

He gave his usual sarcastic smile.

“You seem to be at peace with yourself now”, she looked at him.

“Yes, the ultimate thing lies within. It’s for you to decide what gives you peace, and what worries you”

“Ya, right. How does it feel like?” she curiously enquired.

“It’s like, it had always been there, forever, and now it is not. The chances that it will come back are nil”, he laughed at his own statement.

“You know it can, and you can lose it again”, she spoke as-a-matter-of-fact.

“I don’t want it back. It feels wonderful, trust me. You should try it sometime.”

“Really, but I chose to retain it until I find the right person”, she said.

“There is nothing right and nothing wrong, sweetheart…”, he went on.

She wondered why it is so difficult falling in love with someone… The little pumping organ keeps finding a refuge other than its own…. Kinda complicated.. she thought.

“I wish to lose it too…. – my heart”, she said candidly.

He started laughing… and laughed till he cried his eyes out.

A dozen of lullabies
That helped me sleep
A dozen of caresses
That showed the love so deep

The fairy who promised
To take my tooth of milk
And in turn gave me
A warm rug of silk

When the dreams were tucked
Safely under my pillow
I looked out of the window
And wondered which star to follow

The books that lay
After being read
The faith that the remaining lessons
Would go straight into my head

The letters that told
The stories of the weak
My pillow held the secrets
Which were hard to speak

The dried stains of tears on it
Helped me mellow
An entire universe lies
Underneath my pillow….