I feel happy today. I am still staring outside the window wondering whether the scenery will have any alterations today. It’s beautiful nonetheless. I wonder what must have Shubh been writing since all these days.

All the items on my to-do list are checked. I have another desire…. Well…. Life’s almost over, isn’t it? But I am living all over again.
This time, I keep my wish, a secret.

Cheers!
-Kher.






…… “So what if I am 80? We can still go on a cruise!”, exclaimed Mr. Kher.

“Are you crazy? I was married to someone else, Mr. Kher, and now, with you?”, asked Mrs. Sen.

“What’s wrong in reliving the old friendship? We don’t have companions anymore”, sniggered Mr.Kher.

“Well, there’s no problem, but on a CRUISE?”, exclaimed the old lady.

“Well, that was the deal, wasn’t it”, he smiled.

And both of them laughed heartily reminiscing their good ol’ days.

THE END

The chronology of the events seems quite predictable. The boy has been visiting alone since last week. The girl’s gone. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him either. He brings his own lighter these days.

It’s not very inspiring. My mind is lost. I am trying to trace Geeta. Where must she be? She isn’t in town. She hasn’t been in town since a week. The chances that she will be back in town are very very low.

I did something extraordinary today. I walked down one floor, across the road, to take a walk. It was good to breathe the fresh air. I knew the reason why the place was so special. It was free of immensity. It seemed light, fresh and heart seemed at peace. Shubh noticed me. He waved at me, and the next moment I was occupying Geeta’s place.

He was typing something on his phone. The phone looked too big. I asked him what was he doing?

He smiled and replied, “Nothing, Mr. Kher.”

“Have you come alone?”, I asked

“Yes, Sir. My friend has left me all alone.”, he snivelled mockingly.

“Oh! I am sorry”, I replied in a sorry tone.

“Uncle, please don’t be. I didn’t mean that”, he tried to console me.

“She is doing great. She’ll be back soon. She’s busy with wedding preparations”, he replied.

“Is she getting married?”, I asked worriedly, realising that it would be the end.

“No uncle, it’s her brother’s wedding”, he replied smiling convincingly.

“What if she doesn’t come back?”, I asked him.

The look on his face is something that I can never forget.

I came back after knowing more about how his iphone works. It is much better than this laptop, though very small.

He was writing something very verbose in a little notepad. I couldn’t read it clearly though.

While I am writing all this, I can clearly recollect the expression he gave me. My curiosity has come to the point of saturation. I wish I could manipulate the actions of my hero and make him express his love to his lady. But I have no control over what will happen next.

I have been living an eternity waiting for Geeta, since a week. I hope the week doesn’t extend into an eternity for Shubh.

I can look at him type something on his iphone. I wish I could peep into it once and know his story….

Blessing to the two main leads of my life..

Love always,

Shubhashish Kher.

Contd…..

“You can’t hold back the dawn
Or stop the tide from flowing
Or keep a rose from withering
Or still a wind that’s blowing
And time cannot be halted
In its swift and endless flight..
For parting is sure to follow meeting…
As day comes after night…

I feel, deeply, the pain when I think about Mrs. Kher. All the times when I thought I should have expressed, I did not. Rather I could not.
The inability to put my feelings in words, probably, left her unaware of my feelings. The deeds weren’t expressive either.
She did not talk much. I wish the eternities could bundle up into a moment, the present one; and I could bring her back and tell her how much she meant to me. I miss her all the more when I realize that I have no one to talk to. I only wish she is conveyed of my love for her in any form possible, wherever she may be.

Tears are deceivers. I am smiling as I am thinking of her. But the pain is excruciating.
Shubh and Geeta will suffer like me if they don’t express. But again the question boils down to one thing. Is really the love which is meant to be there, there? There’s nothing that justifies that the two should be together except my stupid imagery.

Shubh’s here. He is walking towards me. Geeta is not with him. He waits for an eye contact with me.
Today I initiate. “Hello son.”
“Hello uncle.”
“The watchman must be right there.”
He smiles. He looks around. The watchman isn’t there. He looks up at me again.
“Uncle, are you watching a movie on the laptop?” he smiles at the oldie trying to handle a laptop.
“Umm….no no, son. Just jotting down a few things.”
“Oh! Wow.”
“What’s your name?”, I ask Shubh.
“Shubha_____….”, he replies.
I assume and reiterate, “Shubhashish, beautiful name.”
“No uncle, it’s Shubhadeep”, he smiles.
“Oh… and where’s your friend?” I blurt out uncontrollably.
“Who? Geeta? Or Gaurav?” he pretends.
“I am asking about the lady. She was with you the other day.”, I try to cover up my statements.
“Yeah, she is out of town.”, he replies and recedes. We do not have eye contact anymore.
“Ohh, Goodnight Shubh….a….deep”, I manage.
“Goodnight……, Uncle?”, he asks my name.
“I reply, Kher, Shubhashish Kher”
I throw a high five in the air. He retorts.

I feel better.
-Kher.

I am trying not to look out of the window, but this is unbearable. It was going good since morning. I was sure that I wouldn’t write about the two anymore. But again I am glued to the sight outside waiting for the final colours of the canvas to be filled.

They have come on a motorbike today. So, today it isn’t an after meal walk. Oh it’s the meal today. They are relishing burgers. I wish I could tell them how bad fast food is for health. Alas, there are other things to worry about.

Is it my perception that is making the atmosphere so erratically serene or is it really quiet unlike other evenings? I should wait until they finish eating.
The dinner’s done. Geeta just threw her burger wrapper on the ground. Shubh gave her an irate stare, picked it up and is looking for a dustbin.

Its right here, son, under my apartment.
I watch him looking for one. He spots the dustbin that I want him to. He is walking towards my apartment, towards me.
I should switch on the lights. Make myself visible. I can see him clearly. Should I call out to him and say a ‘Hi’? How will he react?
While I am thinking about all this, I hear him talk……to me.

“Uncle, where’s the watchman?”
I am perplexed.
“He must be right there.. “, I reply trying to have a close look at him.
“Careful, uncle, the laptop might slip off your lap.”

I give him a smile as I realize that he conversing with the watchman, signaling for a match box.
He is a handsome lad, with mesmerizing eyes.
He walks back and occupies the seat next to Geeta.

They sit silently, staring into oblivion.
Silence is deafening. I want to hear them talk so that my interpretations get a direction. But seems, their souls are communicating today.

My bewilderment has no bounds. What’s the silence about?
Geeta is looking at Shubh. Shubh innocently hides his cigarette and lets out a fag on the other side so that it doesn’t trouble Geeta.

“What?”, he asks.
“Nothing”, she smiles.
“Want to go home?”, he asks
“I don’t know”, she replies.

And there is another long silence….

I am smiling….

Love,
Kher.

contd....

The incessant laughter drew me to my hot seat well before time today. The sun is about to set and the greens are still visible.

I did not have a peaceful sleep last night. The thoughts about Geeta and Shubh fighting made me hysterical. Stupid, it may seem, but I had no control over visualizing what would I do without them today. I was not expecting them at all.

But I realize one thing. I got to expect the unexpected. They are here. And Shubh is laughing heartily.

This is the exact converse of what I thought it would be. Geeta is walking beside him. They just gave each other a high-five.

What is the matter?
I realize I just hit the “Enter” key too hard. I am smiling. Can’t help it.
I am waiting for them to come within my area of perception.
I see them taking a sprint towards the bench.

“I told you, you would be miserable!”, Shubh started laughing again.
“I thought I might as well begin a new chapter at a place as wonderful as this!”, replied Geeta, in a serious tone.
“What you think is wonderful, may not be appealing to boys who are used to expensive coffee shops”
“It’s just me who can relate to all the nonsense that you do”, said Shubh.
Geeta kept mum. Is she about to cry? I cannot see her face clearly!
“It’s not going to be good without you! That’s what you’d told me?”
“ Trust me, had I been there I would have told him how special you are…”
“Really?”, Geeta asked candidly .

The laughter again put me in confusion. Geeta snubbed. She seemed at peace, but gloomy, and Shubh seemed overtly happy, but, I don’t know……was he sad?
He put his shoulder around her and they sat together. They giggled even more reading out texts from their cell phones…

Am I getting too involved? Is it really my business to know what’s going on between the two?
Yes, I think it is!
With confused thoughts and lots of curiosity…
--Kher

contd....

The cool breeze is captivating. The night sky is beautiful. This is the perfect set-up for a hot tea and some snacks. But, all I can do is yearn for a treat. The doctor has imposed so many restrictions; that I can only look at my children enjoy it.

And of course the two youngsters! Today is one of those days again when they are late. They’ll be here soon.

I can see Geeta. But where’s Shubh? It’s been 3 minutes now and I am waiting for Shubh to enter the scene so that I can go on with my typing. But alas, seems it’s just Geeta today.
She’s talking to someone on the phone. Seems she’s talking with the young lad. What could have been the reason for his absence?

Geeta is conversing and smiling, occasionally grinning to the extent of covering her face with her palm. She is taking a walk, sans Shubh. She’ll soon come to my side of the park when I’ll get to hear what she’s talking and whom she’s talking to.

She’s stopped at her usual place and has taken her seat. I can hear her clearly. As usual, I am not able to make any sense out of it.

“It seems there is no point in waiting then”, she says, and snickers.
“No, No, I can’t wait until then.”
“Okhay, it’s deal.” She says mocking the other person. I realize she is not talking to Shubh.
“It’s not going to be good without you”, she says as a matter-of-factly.
“Me too”, she utters, and hangs up.
What did she reply to? What was the statement from the other end? Oh! This is frustrating.
I realize she is browsing her contact list to make another call. Her phone rings.

She answers, “Hello! I was about to call you”
“I was talking to …..”
“But….”
“…and I have been here since an hour”
“I am not lying…”
“You don’t care?”
“Whatever”..

Who was she talking to? Was it Shubh? Did they just fight? No, they are not supposed to fight.
Where is Shubh? And why is Geeta leaving?
This is strange? And what do I do now?
Ponder over what must have happened? Seems I got no choice.
Hope they turn up tomorrow.
The wait will be agonizing.

A little less than love, and more of curiosity,
-Kher


contd....

I wonder for how long they were chewing the fat last night. I woke up at around 1am in the night and found them still there. I was tempted to take my seat near the parapet, but I was very sleepy. The visitor had gone by then. The two sat there talking and laughing. The good moods did not seem to die away.

It was never about just an-after-meal-walk. They walked less and chatted more. My observation about the couple, no matter how hard I try, leads me to one conclusion. They are meant to be together. And what makes me assume that they are not together? - I don’t really know.

The lady looks stunning today. I have always maintained that girls look good in Indian attires. Nothing makes them look classic than a decent salwar kameez.

I see them taking a walk. I have noticed that Shubh always moves too fast, a pace ahead of Geeta. Geeta keeps pulling him back to maintain the tempo of her speech and her walk.

She is trying to explain something, highly intricate. Her gestures show that she is describing an accident.

While she is trying to portray the exact scene, Shubh is staring at her. They’ve stopped walking. They are right in front of my window and I can hear them clearly.

Clasp… he holds her hand. She is trying hard to go on with the story.

I am not sure what’s in his mind. He interrupts the story and makes her sit on the footpath, facing the open ground.

He is still holding her hand. Geeta seems helpless.

Perhaps she is thinking, “How can I avoid the inevitable?”
Shubh lets her go. He is apporaching her. She gives a confused look as her cheeks go pink. He whispers something in her ears. And she spanks him.

I can see him lighting his cigarette. Desperate fellow!
I am sure there’s some connection between the two. Call me conservative or whatever.

Blessings to the two main leads of my night life.
Love,
Kher.

contd....

So typical of the young generation to keep the oldies waiting. We never made anyone wait. We were punctual. My granddaughter was supposed to teach me internet. But she has not yet returned from her classes.

Geeta and Shubh are late. Don’t they realize that I wait for them?
No, actually they don’t. Why am I complaining?
I remember, the last weekend when they were here, they sat close, together. It made me wonder, whether they are friends, husband-wife, or a couple very much in love? It seems that they are merely friends. I wouldn’t be happy if they come to know that my interpretations were very conforming and my thinking, conservative.
A boy and girl can merely be friends, without having any strings attached. But I hope they get committed, someday. There is something that draws me towards them. The way Geeta smiles, when Shubh cracks a joke, or the way Shubh looks at her, when she explains things, proves that there is something hidden but will probably take time to surface.
I just said I am a non-conformist, didn’t I?
Time has been very kind. I am living life all over again.
They are here. Late. There’s a guest today. They call him Gaurav. They’ve taken their favorite place. Geeta is standing, facing the two young men. She is facing me too.
She is intermittently looking around. Will she notice me looking at them? I wish she does.
They seem to be enjoying Beer tonight. The talks will be interesting. I am trying to make out what they are laughing at? What may be so ridiculous? Well, the youth need no reason to mock a situation and make merry.
I wish to be there, on the other side of the road. But, it’s dinner time.
Like Shubh says, ‘let’s hang up’.
Love
Kher.

contd..

I wonder what keeps me glued to the window and the sight outside. While I am looking at the dew drops settled on the window sill, I am reminded of Mrs. Kher. She would always write her name on the moist dust. KAMALA. She was pretty. I never told her, though. I miss her. Had we been friends, I would have taken her out on late night walks, just like the young chap does.
They have been here since evening, sitting on their favorite bench. I am able to hear what they are talking. But I am unable to make sense out of it. Finally, today ,I get to know their names.
Geeta and Shubh. I wonder are those their real names? I named my son Rajendra. And he made it short - Raj.
I wonder what could be their real names. Geetanjali and Shubhabhish ? Beautiful names! :)

Geeta: Will you stop cribbing about your work?
Shubh: ‘Crib’ is wrongly applied. The word means ‘cheat’ or ‘plagiarize’
Geeta: I have been using the word since ages. I am sure it doesn’t mean ‘cheat’, it means ‘complain’.
Therefore, my dear, we say ’stop cribbing’, which means, ‘stop complaining’.
Shubh : Why don’t you accept that you are wrong. I know the actual meaning, and when I am telling you what it means, you should accept it.
Geeta: Don’t teach me..

I am in a fix. What does the word actually mean? Both of them are having an interesting fight. No No, ‘not a fight’ like Shubh says, ‘it is a discussion’. I am learning quite a lot.
I shouldn’t be cribbing (complaining or cheating, whatever). The discussion seems endless. I feel like being a part of their discussion.
But it’s time for me to take a night’s sleep. The benazepril is working.
Good Night.
Love,
Kher.

contd

Day: Tuesday

Seems I am getting a hang of what they call a “laptop”. Raj, my son, gifted this and expected me to come up with a nice novel.
“Dad, wasn’t this one of the few things that you always wanted to do?”, he asked.
“Yeah, this was on my to-do list before I died”, I chuckled.
Alas, the death seems to be so near, and mind so in a quagmire, that any new idea cropping up in an 87 year old cerebrum seems a distant possibility. Nonetheless, this laptop deserves some attention too.
Its 9pm. Dinner’s done. I am waiting for the young chap and his girl to come to the park for a walk. They seem to love each other’s company. And I love to see them keep each other company.
They are late at times.
Seems, they must be working late. Or are have they gone for a movie tonight?
They never skip their after-meal walk!
Oh, there they come. They look good. Happy. The Boy’s looking extraordinarily fresh today. Did he skip work? He must have had a nice meal. Seems the lady cooked some nice stuff today.
As usual, they’ve taken their favorite place. I wish they sit, once at least, facing me. I would want them to know that they are a part of my night routine now.
I am glad the girl did not object the lighting of the cigarette, today. It made me happy.
“I need a fag too, dear boy” ;)
Happy smokin’ chap.
Time for me to wander in dreamland with my lady..
See you tomorrow.
Love,
Kher.

Contd..

Sid: Where is Ana?
God: Ana…?
Sid: God you know it, don’t you?
God: I think I do… but what makes you ask me about her?
Sid: I thought she died before I did, so I thought you’d know where she‘d be.
God: You thought she died? Hahahaha…
Sid: She’s still alive? Ohh.. I thought she must have disappeared with the fags.
God: Indeed, she did.. A while ago. It’s been 3 years.
Sid: Did she leave any message for me?
God: What’s the fun, chap? I’ve never had anybody ask anything like this.
Sid: Well, that was our deal. And… you don’t worry God, Just tell me did she leave any message.
God: No...
Sid: No?
God: So shall we proceed? We have formalities to do.
Sid: Sure, Seems only I was looking for her. She never did.
God: You are supposed to rest for a while before you begin your next life cycle.
Sid: As you say, God.
God: And would you like to have some company?
Sid: Company?
Ana: Hey Sid, What are you doing here? Seems they’ve put me in Rehab. There’s no- smoking Zone everywhere out here in Heaven. Good to see you anyway. God made me wait this long. He said it would be three years until I’d get to see you again. So I waited for you.
God: She’ll never give up talking, Sid. I leave you guys to enjoy the bliss and togetherness, something you couldn’t do down there.
Ana: Thank you, God. You were right. This was worth the wait. Don’t you think so Siddharth…. And you know what when I got married, I only feared that….
But soon it got better……………….. and yeah……………I re-read the novel you gifted me..……………… ………..

It was a beautiful monsoon evening. I had a deep urge of having a corn treat. But I had no company. I thought I better explore the familiar streets all alone. I always despised doing that, but the urge to relish a corn snack made me do the unreasonable.
As I approached the stall a strong aroma of butter and corn tempted me all the more. My weaknesses surfaced and I greedily ordered two sweet corns with butter.
A succession of thoughts engulfed me while I looked around and observed the vehicles pass by. Suddenly, I saw a familiar face. It was ‘X’. Almost all the girls I knew, in my high school, had a crush on him. Going by math, I’d say he had 9/10 female fan following from our batch. I was one of them too. Every time I saw him, I would be amazed at the way he walked; talked, dressed, smiled… everything he did seemed perfect. He would kill people with his eyes.
But that day, I realized a lot had changed. He looked weak; his eyes had lost the spark, his smile had lost the charm. He crouched while he walked. I assumed that he was suffering from a grave illness. Or was he studying too much that made him ruin his health? Or did he do something nefarious and doped himself to this state? Mind was framing irrational questions.
I was sure he wouldn’t recognize me. He didn’t. But I realized that the attraction factor had become zero. I did not find him a “crush material” anymore. I wondered how dynamic the emotions were.
I called up a common friend to enquire what was up with ‘X’ and that was when I came to know that he was in a rehab for almost 2 years. He was addicted to alcoholism. His charm had vanished, and had the attraction.
I had decided to explore a familiar street and indeed I came back home with an outcome. There are things beyond mere appearances and those things are very profound. The dynamics of emotions can put you in places where it is really difficult to accept certain things. The appearances will change with time. But acceptance to something more than appearance is foremost and that would keep a relationship going to the very end.
The first step would be accepting ourselves the way we are….
…..and learning to have fun all alone while relishing a sweet corn on a beautiful monsoon evening.

My favorite 7 Places on Earth.

1) Home : There is no place like home. Period.


2) St.Joseph’s Convent Girls High School, Nagpur:
I love every nook and corner of my school campus. From Prem nagar, to the girls toilet block, the auditorium, the classrooms, the place under the tamarind tree, the labs, the throw ball court, the assembly area, the school bell, the Chapel, and the staircase too.
There are so many memories that are very deeply engraved in my mind. The days that I have spent in school are so far the most amazing ones.


3) Reliance, Bavdhan, Pune :
This is one place where I would love to go back to for every birthday celebration and for no celebration as well. People talk about night life. We had a ball at this place. I still remember the intense discussions on life, career, and marriage. We have celebrated almost every birthday at this place. Cutting cakes, emptying beer cans and having fun like kids. This place was a hangout for us after a hearty dinner at our very own Spice and Ice (Bavdhan, Pune). The cool dudes would smoke out their frustrations and make the ladies glad by offering them peppermints. I can still recollect every tang of the food, and the peppermints. How we discussed about how our lives would be after a few years. The few years are over and lives are indeed different.
One very vivid memory at this place is the Dumb Charades game that we played. One of us was struggling enormously to mime out the movie “Desparado”. The links, the interpretations, the laughter on the stairs of Reliance, Bavdhan creates an unforgettable remembrance. This is one of my favorite places.


4) Vanaz, Kothrud, Pune:
The growing up part happened to me, here. Transformation from an enthusiastic girl to a responsible youth happened at this place. This place is an open land, more of a playground, with an open sky to look at. I somehow wonder that stars shine brighter there. It is nothing extraordinary, but it is beautiful. Perhaps, the companies I had made it beautiful.


5) Walkers’ Street, Civil lines Nagpur:
You find yourself amidst nature when you are on this piece of land. The trees are lush, green and welcoming. The chats, the workouts that I had here, with my friends are treasured.

6) SRCM Retreat Panshet, Pune:
It gave me whatever I wanted. I love this place.


7) Delhi:
Cousins, fun, food, hangouts, fun, cousins, fun….did I say Fun? Yeah… Fun J

The tagging business is fun. I thought I’d begin a trail. The lucky number for me this month is 7. So I have mentioned 7 of my favorite places and I am tagging 7 of my blog buds!!

Jincy (http://cordonedbyme.blogspot.com)
Abhishek (http://abhisheksmusings.blogspot.com)
Sudip (http://caughtoffside.blogspot.com)
Sanil (http://skhajone.blogspot.com)
Salil (http://theseekerlurks.blogspot.com)
Amrita (http://amsko.wordpress.com)
Malathi (http://justsurvivingontheedge.blogspot.com)