________ is my world!

Fill in the blanks. And Share it if you agree! And post it on Facebook! For Example..this!

Well, you know what; I do not have anything to fill the blank with. I do know why "world" is so idiosyncratic. It comprises of so many things.

The world has terrorists, racists, people who eat humans, people who spit on the roads, people who shit and pee in public. The world has pornography, brothels, strip clubs. The world has people like George Bush, Dawood, Chetan Bhagat. The world has diseases like Ebola and Swine Flu. The world has industries which are duping people by showing shiny advertisements. The world also has many wonderful things, but look at the ones I've listed, and think about the ones I did not!

Who would want to give a metaphor of “World” to the people they love?

Tom, Dick, Harry is my world!! It is a literal translation of "Tu meri duniya hai". Then there is intensification of that too "You are my planet, solar system, galaxy, universe". Don’t get me started about what the universe consists of! There could be things worse than we could ever imagine!

It’s a wonderful thing to say, that someone means so much to you. It shows the love, affection and commitment. I have a problem with people making such statements. I know it is none of my business to tell a mother, who thinks her son, is her world, that she is wrong. But I will do it anyway!

Unconditional love exists. That of a mother and a child. There is no doubt about that! And when the world (hereon consider “world” to be “everything”) of the mother starts revolving around that of her child, it seems like the most beautiful bond. But the problem begins, when the world continues revolving around it, even when the kid grows up! 

We have mothers of full grown men, who think their lives are all about their sons. They feed them, do their laundry, cook for them, wash their smelly socks and give them head massages.

That’s where the problem begins!

It’s not about expectations from children. It’s not even about respecting the kids, or giving or not giving them freedom. It about what mothers “think” about their relationships with their kids. 

It’s true; you carry the child for 9 months. You go through labor and the pain of it all. It’s also very true that everything you do, ends up being about your kid. But what is the right age to stop caring so much, or not have your kid “bonded” in that love? You have to detach, at some point and start living your life!

The major problem, in most of the marriages is the entry of a third person in the relationship of mother and son. The mother still is so attached to her son that she thinks she knows the best for him. 

She is highly concerned, hence the constant worrying. But it is important that mothers stop doing that, beyond the age of 15, at least. The guy gets used to the constant attention from his mother. The thought process is programmed and when the setup changes, when there is intrusion (read marriage); the guy finds it very difficult to adjust. It’s not the fault of the boys. It is the mothers’ fault. The way you bring up your kid tells how strong you are.

No mother needs to find her world in her kids. She is her own world. She is her own strength. A part of her came in to the world. She is the creator. She should create and let it thrive. She doesn't own the kid. She has just played her part in the scheme of things.

Say you love your son. Say your son is your strength. Say you share a great bond with him. But don’t make him your world!

When we find happiness and solace in someone else, there is always a gap in expectations and fulfillment of expectations. Why not save ourselves the pain?

I am my world! I create it. I live in it!

That should be the mantra. For all parents, kids, siblings!  For everyone!

Intolerance and all that crap…

When I chat with Kiran at home, she says, 'should we move out of India?' 

Aamir Khan said what most of the young population of India is already doing!

Just because he is a famous guy, and has garnered all that he has today by his stardom in India, doesn't mean that he is not persecuted. He could be who knows. We don’t know in what Mr. Khan takes offense. He may be saddened by religious intolerance, or disrespect to women, or banning of certain items. We don’t know! He is entitled to his views. He has not offended anyone!

If he has been treated like a king all throughout, it doesn't guarantee that his kids and their kids will be devoid of any comments or remarks. They may have their problems. Every one of us do.

My write-up is not in defense of Mr. Khan at all. He is free to do whatever he wants to do. My point is, why is leading news websites displaying this broadcast about how intolerant Mr. Khan thinks India is? He has just voiced his opinions.

Do I think India has been tolerant? Most definitely yes! This is the only country with the most successful democracy with over 7 religions, 3,000 castes and over 25,000 subcastes. And we have lived amicably all these years barring a few tiffs here and there.

This extent of secularism exists nowhere else in the world, and we have been a peaceful nation for over 65 years since independence. The Britishers came and went, and they could do nothing to shake the very foundation of our nation. We all respect our diversity and we all know what it means to stick together despite these outrages that happen every now and then. Whatever the media shows, is just to blind you of the clear notion that you have been holding all this while. 

Having said that, there is no denying, all over the world, around 1/3rd Indians are immigrants. That amounts to over 300 million people.  There are millions of people already doing something that Aamir Khan and his wife spoke about. 

Anyone reading this would agree that they know at least 10 people in their friend circle, or families, who are already out of India, or are trying to migrate or are appearing for exams so that they get to study and settle outside. How many people would readily opt to stay back in India? What are the major reasons that people are immigrating to other countries? Have we asked this to ourselves, to our families and friends? Don’t worry about Mr. Khan. 

What is our thought process? Just because he is a movie star, and has expressed his opinions, he makes it to the headlines? There are millions of people already talking about this over tea, and discussing about the VISA application processes. There are million more who are already about to leave India for the very reason you are slamming Mr. Khan!

Aren't there more important things happening around that needs coverage? What’s with the complacency? Why is media so erratic?

People who plan to move out of India, not only worry about themselves, or money, but they also worry about the future generations. Haven't we read numerous articles about how people are scared of bringing up their girl child in India? How Muslims are scared of making a living in a city like Pune, because they are not allowed to rent houses? How tamilnadu has closed its door for other non-tamil speakers? If this is not intolerance, what is?

Aamir Khan is a very famous guy, hence people like Mr. Kher are taking offence. I love my country too. But I am also practical enough to accept, that yes, unity in diversity is definitely at threat. Because we are being intolerant. 

The forces are slowly playing with our psyche and making us an intolerant lot. We WERE Tolerant earlier. Not anymore.. See how they are tricking us into a trap? Where we fight and kill each other? There won’t be any force required. Just manipulating the thoughts and tricking the psyche will do it all. They are doing so so well! The forces!

We are letting the very identity of a great nation like India succumb to external pressures. I am as lost as anyone who is wondering what state we’ve reached today? I am as dejected as anyone who is wondering what a wonderful nation India was, and how it’s going to the dogs. I am slowly losing faith in myself and my countrymen.

I will have my faith restored, when 1/2 of the immigrant population, decide to come back to India. I have no other measure! With increasing population, where immigration seems a better idea, I still wonder why isn't India, with all its talent a developed country yet? Because everything is draining away! Think about it! 

Anyway, I have to get back and help my friend with some IELTS study material!

Mr. Kher. Take a break! 

The Broken Lamp

Picture Courtesy : Diba

He sat amidst a group of people prattling away, sometimes singing and sometimes ordering things around. He watched as the clay took shape and his elder sister applied ochre to the clay pots and lamps. He was amused by how the wheel turned around.

One, two, three…he would count and then lose track of his counting as the wheel spun faster. He was particularly mesmerized by the reddle and how it looked so beautifully red in color. He wished to color his hand, but countless reprimands made him sit on a pile of sand, from where he saw his sister work hard. He collected small pieces of mirror around, as he passed his time. “Careful Krishna. Stay away from glass pieces”, his sister would intermittently call out.

“70 more, and you can leave for the day, Swati”, Kishorilal suggested, as he inspected the clay pots, the lamps and designs that Swati made. Krishna smiled, as he realized, that he could leave with his sister, as soon she finished 70 more lamps. He observed her and started counting again. The lamps, this time.

“You should go to school now!”, Kishorilal insisted.

“That’s ok Sir”, I will paint these first and then leave.

“You can do it tomorrow, Swati. There is still time for Diwali”, Kishorilal said.

Swati smiled, as Kishorilal tapped on her head and left. She looked at Krishna who was busy playing with the mirror pieces he had collected.

“Krishna, do you want water?”, Swati looked at her little brother, just 5 years old, and signaled him to come and sit next to her.

All of 14, Swati was a doting sister. Krishna never missed his mother much, who died when he was 1. His father, a farmer would work 16 hours in a day, while his sister worked in her spare time. He excitedly, got down from the pile of sand, slipping away happily and rolled down to reach where Swati was sitting.

She dusted the sand off his legs and hands, and gave him a glass of water.

“What are you doing exactly?”, Krishna asked as he gulped down the water.

“These are lamps. You can put oil in this, like this, and put a wick in it, and light it. It will glow and pass through these designs I’ve made and people can hang it outside the door or keep it in the porch”, she showed him the intricacies of the designs, as she took out the dried lamps from the kiln and started painting it.

“Can I paint one?”, Krishna asked.

“Umm…ok.. Take this”, she handed him a broken lamp and gave him a piece of cloth.

“You are doing all the difficult ones, and you have given me such an easy one!”, Krishna complained.

“You are new to this. Try the simple one first. If you do this well, I’ll give you another. But no mischief, ok?”, Swati warned.

Krishna smiled, as he observed his sister take a piece of cloth, dip it in the reddle and go over the lamp in linear motion. He repeated the same thing. He painted all the broken pieces and wondered how could it hold oil and where could he place the wick.

Swati’s lot looked finished with paint beautifully put over it. Krishna looked at it in awe, and wondered, if he could carry one back too!

“Can we take and light those lamps?”, Krishna asked, pointing to the lamps Swati just finished.

“They are not ours, Krishna. So no! We can’t!”, Swati replied tranquilly.

“Didi, then can we light these lamps for Diwali, at our house?”, he asked Swati as he showed her the one he painted.

“These are broken, Krishna, how can you light them?”, Swati asked.

“Hmm”, Krishna wondered.

After wrapping up the work for the day, Swati collected her daily wage and left for her evening school along with her brother. Satisfied, she heaved a sigh of contentment, and smiled as both of them capered their way towards school.

“Krishna, why did you bring all the broken lamp pieces with you? What’s the use?”, Swati asked.

“I painted them, so I kept them with me”, Krishna said.

“You did a very good job. If you quietly help me like this, you needn't sit away every day. I hate punishing you. You can sit with me, and I will teach you how to make lamps and pots”, Swati suggested.

“That’s a nice idea. But I don’t like this!”, Krishna whined.

“What?”, Swati asked.

“You make lamps; you put them in the kiln, and then paint them too. Why can’t we take 5 or 6 or 7 out of the 100 you make in a day?”, Krishna asked.

“That’s not the right thing to do, Krishna. We should pay if we want to take them”, she answered.

“Then would we have to pay and buy lamps for Diwali?”, Krishna asked.

“Yes. I will ask Kishorilal Uncle to give us at a cheaper rate”, Swati reassured Krishna.

“Don’t bother, Didi”, Krishna replied. “I have an idea”.

“What idea?”, Swati asked.

Krishna simply smiled. “Tell me”, she insisted.

“Later!”, he dodged.

“Please Krishna. No trouble, No mischief ok?”, Swati probed.

Krishna laughed his way to the school, as Swati chased him.

***

As Diwali came, all the lamps got sold, and the demand increased. The cost increased too. Swati hesitated in asking for lamps at a cheaper rate. Wondering how to explain it to Krishna, she started framing alibis. While she was preparing answers, she heard Krishna’s voice.

“Look Didi. We have a brighter Diwali than most people”, Krishna called his sister out and showed her his array of broken lamps with pieces of mirror placed in it.

“Wow”, Swati exclaimed as her eyes twinkled, with the reflection of the streetlight from the mirror.

“This is brighter than the oil and wick, Krishna. You are brilliant!”, Swati praised him.

“See, I told you I had an idea, Didn’t I?” Krishna felt proud.

“Of course you did. Let baba come and see, he’ll be very happy!”, Swati said.

The new moon, somewhere in the dark sky, wished to be a part of this bright Diwali in the house of Krishna and Swati.

***