Unpublished

He sighed as the faded ink in his notebook, diluted the feelings of the words he had once penned down. 

It read,

When we are 80, and neither of us can read anymore, I will lend you my extra special bifocal lenses to zoom in to my feelings. You would need them. You would have lost the sight, as much as I would have.

It still takes nothing for me to understand what you want. I always know it. Like I did back then. You always needed reassurances, and missives. I hated writing, and you turned me into a novelist.

Words poured like rains during monsoons. Why, you'd wonder? I wrote so that one day, while walking past that book store, you'd pick up a hardbound with my name on it. And wonder..

'Am I the protagonist? Did he write about me?'

Knowing that you'd chance upon my book and read it- Back to back... and realize, it wasn't about you. 

You'd ponder furthermore, 'perhaps there will be sequel to this. He said he was madly in love with me. He ought to write one book at least about me'.

Thinking that, you'd indulge in another book, with my name on it and consume all that I had to give. And try to find yourself -In me.

Why do you have to find yourself in me? Don't you know, how you left a part behind when you refused to talk. Talk anymore about what had gone wrong?
You want to see how I perceive you today? You want to search yourself in the things I do?

What do you ask of a writer, who has forgotten his existence?  Who writes to discover himself, after losing his senses in the person he claimed to love more than anyone else?

When you are everything that is there, what are you looking for? Are  you trying to find light in the sun, or a shadow in the dark?

You are looking for that drop in the ocean which I set fire to, last summer. There is no soul anymore. It's gone!

Then, why do you read? Especially my books?

I promised, I would lend you my bifocals... 
You should've waited.
Or...
Come back...Now..
Because I know I am going to live till I am 80 or even more... for many many years.. 
I have already tasted death..  

She walked around the city looking for bookstores hoping to find a book she hadn't read- With his name.

The book she was looking for, was never published! 

Two Sides

On one side there is chaos
Other side -depth

Depth of silence and calmness
that comes from drowning in the waters of nothingness
Rarely do I find a place where choices are in such contrast
And I want both! 

I want life to elude me, entertain me, as I do 
I want life to be faithful, like I am -to it..
I want life to know I want it as much it wants me
I know it does!

It wants me to feel the love and pain
And I want it to feel the same
It tries to hurt me really hard
And I want to go on, un-scarred

It wants me to appreciate its value
I do! I really do!
But I want life to appreciate what I give, too
Does it?

The other side, the choice -
The flip side of chaos is serenity
..where there is life, but no life...
Only depths of illusions and heights of wonder

It asks nothing of me.
And I ask nothing of it..
We exist together
Like no two entities would have existed better
- In Harmony!

Someday I'll embrace it
This choice – I’ll hold it and grace it! 
And I know I wouldn't regret..
Because I have been on the brink 
For far too long!

Diving in Lies

Picture Courtesy : Diba Raza

Tell only that's necessary..

hide everything else!

They don't need to know

when you come and where you go

Lie about it if you must

who's to tell what's unkind and what's just?

You bare only when you wish to

dare and hide everything within you

You go away far, lie that you will stay

you dream whenever you want, even if it's day!

You explore the lands of success and joy

the world's gentle banter will yet remain, Oh! Boy!

But that's what you always do

you go, lie girl, they don't deserve the truth!

Cheat on your love, kiss 'nother lip

go on a picnic- in that sea of silence take a dip

you owe no one anything

cry whenever you want, or rumble and sing

Even if you are alone, don't fear

You ran away from truth, nothing else would be near

But lie! Be a glib liar!

Talk with those eyes, set hearts on fire

Because that is what will take you till the last

 Leap into the future and smother that indelible past

Truth, you'll seek your own way, if you have to

just keep doing what you always do!

You hurt no one at least, happily they'd die

Even if all the things you ever said, were only a lie!

The Chase

Picture Courtesy : Diba Raza

©

TIME -

He left a trail.

Like he knew people would come after him.

Slowly dance in the rain and tap to the rhythm.

He knew people would look for someone who held the future

Future that left behind Past - 

way behind, moved on as if it could never last.

A Lad, grabbed the moment, thought he held time in his fist

Got a company - a flying soul, held it strongly by its wrist

But like sand, time started slipping away

The boy wondered, what could make it work - his way.

He chased it. Chased it all over again. 

But everything vanished. It did not remain.

The dream which loped faster than light,

left behind darkness in a sorry, lonely plight

He traced the steps - foot by foot

challenged the racer, as firmly as he could

The end of the tunnel, transformed into Sun rays

The boy questioned, why did it haunt him, all the way?

Who was He? The runner? He said he was TIME!

He claimed he distanced, when he found people looking behind

The lad stood still, fathoming the moment that was there

TIME - like a butterfly, finally rested, with care!

Shrug off the Past - your Regrets, 

don't dwell on Future - your Pride!

TIME sat on his shoulder and said

"Now, my friend, I am on your side"

And then they walked together!